Violinist (CENTURIES series: Book #4)

27

• Emotional trigger on so many levels in this chapter, guys. Be prepared. •

Who was I?

Not how was I, not where was I in my life, but who. That was the question Dr Samson just asked.

"I'm not... sure I understand," I replied.

"It's a simple question," She smiled in that way I knew it wasn't. Me and Dr Samson had known each other for a long while. She was my bullshit meter, my slap of hard truth. She had been with me after things with Mason ended. After I broke down, I had seen her a few times and the chemistry had been instant. I considered her a friend on some level, though a friend who charged me for her golden words of advise.

But she was worth every penny. I hated therapy, but Dr Samson never made it feel like therapy. More like... two girl friends talking where one of them actually knew what they were talking about.

"Does anyone really know who they are?" I replied and fiddled with the string of my sweater. Some part of me questioned if anyone saying they knew who they were really were full of shit. We were humans; None of us knew what we were.

"Then let me ask you; who would you like to be?" Dr Samson countered.

Just like before, it was such a simple question but it took me by surprise.

Who did I want to be?

It posed a much harder and much more difficult question that I didn't want to ask myself, but still did.

Who had I been up till now?

I exhale a very long breath.

After Mason... maybe even before Mason, I had been but clay; Yet to be defined, fresh out of college with a degree in social science. I had wanted to take care of people. That had always been my call. But where had the call come from?

Now as I asked myself the previous question, I found the answer; Me. The calling came from inside me, the little girl who had wanted someone to take care of her.

Enter Mason.

He had been a real adult even in his twenties. He wore suits to work, he smiled and had charisma and oozed with self confidence. And then there was the way he handled me.

At first I had liked it. Him being on top whenever we were together. On top because as a feminist, I liked to choose when I wanted a man to be on top of me, and Mason... Mason was not a bad person when on top.

But the second I started rising above...

When I started getting praise at work, he told me not to brag. When I started earning good money, he had to remind me always that he earned more. Even such a thing as being the top in bed was too much. It didn't happen all at once and I didn't notice it until I was in way too emotionally deep, that he didn't support me like he should've. He couldn't stand not being the only breadwinner, the only alpha and hard worker in the relationship.

And so he decided to shatter my rising confidence completely by turning to the one person I had thought was my confidante in our wilting relationship; Brianna – my best friend.