Dark Love

Chapter 15 - After-effects

"Because I'm a fucking psychopath, baby."

Silence engulfed us for atleast a minute. My breaths were laboured, my hands clenched and my eyes staring at Logan in disbelief and absolute astonishment. That feeling slowly dissipated, and what replaced it was fear. Not just any kind of fear. A raw and punishing type of fear, where you felt absolutely petrified. My chest felt sore and painful, but I had no idea why. Why would this revelation be so shocking when it deemed the obvious all along?

From the beginning, I knew that something was wrong with him. Maybe he was bipolar. Or he had a borderline personality disorder. Anything besides psychopathy. I had no idea how to feel. Should I have felt sorry for him and try to help him? Or fear him more than I already did and cower away like a coward?

When I looked into his deep blue eyes again, I knew that I wanted to help him. I knew immediately by the look in his eyes that he needed more people to care for him than leave him. Whether he had a lost shine in his eyes, a certainty or indescribable anger. I wanted to help him.

"Even more scared of me now?" He questioned rhetorically, looking at me almost sarcastically. His blue eyes were shining and every once in while he would wipe the water droplets coming from his hair out of his eyes.

I gulped deeply, realising that helping him was going to be harder than I first imagined. There was one tiny issue with that plan... the fact that he might not even want my help at all.

"No." I lied, trying to sound as brave as possible. Then I realised, why should I lie to him and give him hope. "Actually, maybe a bit but we can work on that."

"What the fuck do you mean? Did you not hear a word I've said. The only reason I distance myself so much from people is because I always end up doing something so fucking crazy they end up getting hurt. Don't you understand that?"

Despite my heart beating like crazy, I said, "I heard you and I understand aswell."

"Then that's fine. You can stay fucking scared of me." He mumbled, seeming upset. "I don't care, because if you are then you would stay away from me."

"Well, I wasn't the one that brought us here." I stated softly, trying not to trigger him.

"You're right. After today, we should never associate again."

"Logan..."

He ignored me, swimming towards the bank. He didn't ignore the way I flinched away, and scoffed because of it, raising himself out of the water. What he said made sense. It made sense in everyway possible, but the thought of never seeing him again made me so extremely sad. Maybe I had gone insane. Every other normal person would have been running for the hills after the way he acted today. Why wasn't I running for the hills? I wanted to groan out loud at how stupid I was being, but kept it in.

I knew that I was being so stupid. I acknowledged that, but something was still keeping me from never wanting to see him again. I was such a collateral mess.

I was surprised when Logan lowered his hands for me to take. I put my hands in his after a moment of thought, feeling the same tingles I felt shoot up my arms whenever he touched me. How could he still have the same effect on me after what I've discovered about him? I was so screwed.

Logan gripped my hands and helped me up and out of the water so easily as if I weighed nothing. The water felt amazing and warm, but the moment my body was exposed to the cool air a shiver racked through me. I wished we could have stayed longer here. This place was absolutely beautiful and so peaceful, I wouldn't mind staying here all day. When Logan let go of my hands, he turned around and marched straight towards this clothes. His bent down and picked up his jeans, ready to put it on without even drying himself first.