BULLIED ✓

21- Faking it

🎶 I said I'm okay but,
I guess I'm a liar 🎶
FAKING IT - CALVIN HARRIS FT KEHLANI $ LIL YACHTY

I woke on a Monday morning feeling quite tired, And in my usual mood.

Hurt.

In between my legs hurt and I did not need anyone telling me the reason why.

So for today, I have a constant reminder of how much worth my life is to people.

Which is of course, worthless.

My alarm clock went beeping bringing me out of my semi trance, checking the time, I was thirty minutes later than my usual time.

Now that's a first.

Who cared if I got to school late? The rate at which I'm going, I would be dead much sooner than later.

Dragging myself off the bed with my face scrunched up like it's gonna make the pain down there disappear.

I stagger to the bathroom with a promise to burn my skin.

And that's a promise i fulfilled.

Coming out of the steaming bathroom with a towel on me, I started dressing only to catch a view of my little company for the past nights.

Whose idea was it to get me this bear anyway?

possibly mum.

I shrugged the thought away and forged ahead with my dressing, taking my time since I was already late.

"Iris? you in there?"

speaking of the devil.

"wake up honey, you'll be late for school" came her voice once again.

ha, so someone did care if I got to school late.

Well you can't really waste her money on fees though.

true.

Seconds of silence and she sighed

"I know you're awake... I can hear your movement through this door you know" sounding exasperated.

well good, that was my intention.

" Iris are you okay? "

Was she asking me that? cause I'm sure she knows I am not going to reply.

"please speak to me"

so we're begging now? believe me mum, it gets you no where.

"your...." she trailed off as if re- thinking her words
" uhmm... that guy you know came here on Friday night asking if you were home, he was with a red hair. do you know why they seemed bothered?"

silence.

"did you hear me?"

yep, loud and clear.

I was almost done with my dressing by now. All that's left is my hair.

Going to the mirror to fix my hair, I saw the stitch just beneath my hairline, I ran a finger over the tiny long bump before having the chance to stare at my face.

I look like a shell.

A lonely, empty shell.

That's what I have become.

My pale skin color is back and I'm back to being a shadow.

Letting my hair to cascade down my face to cover the scar I picked up my bag and snatched up my phone.