BULLIED ✓

24 - Sad

🎶 suicide if you ever try to let go
       I'm sad I know, yeah
       I'm sad I know,yeah🎶
SAD - XXXTENTACION

    beep. beep. beep.

  Continuously repeating itself meanwhile my body felt stiff.

    I inhaled a really deep breath and caught a whiff of disinfectant mixed with bleach.

   something's not right.

  Opening my eyes by an inch, all I saw was white.

could this be heaven?

  But pastor's always said in paradise all things are beautiful. So heaven should at least smell like a lovely fragrance?

    I opened my eyes wider and saw a loop of wires.

definitely not heaven.

So where am i?

  Turning my head full left, and my boring black eyes met with who gave them to me.

"oh my goodness, she's awake" my mom threw the newspaper she held in her hand, jumped up from her seat and ran to me on the bed.

"my God, Iris how are you? are you feeling any pains? can you see me?" she waved her hand in front of my face as she asked the last question.

  I could see her alright, but that's the problem. I don't want to see her.

   I couldn't answer. I didn't know how to. I stared blankly at her face and started crying.

I couldn't do anything. Not even taking my own life.

" w-why are you cr-" my mom started asking but was cut off by the door to my ward opening.

  In came my dad, Clement and Megan.

Megan? what's she doing here?

All seemed shocked to see me awake, so they came up to me with surprise all over their faces.

  Well, all but Clement. He remained by the door with his arms in his pockets.

  Dad got to me first, after giving mum a brief hug he turned to my side.

"heyyy, how you doing?" saying each word slowly like I was an endangered species.

  My speech was inhibited, not that I can't talk, but because I want to know what they'll have to say after almost losing their only child.

  I wish it wasn't an almost. But he continued speaking either way.

"Your mom and I were scared, everyone was. why did you do that to yourself?"

   They were scared? why did I do it?

Now was the time to speak up.

" It took you guys till my nearly death experience to be scared for me, when I come face to face with death almost every single day of my life with Hunter?" my voice sounded ragged and wheezy but I don't care. This anger needs to be poured out now.

" honey, we-"

"don't honey me." I interrupted mom when she started. "don't you dare honey me. You guys literally don't give a shit about my life. I cried to you almost every day of my life since we moved here, but were you scared?, I came back home with blood and scars, but were you scared? I came back home with results that degrade each session, but were you scared? No. All you cared about was the kid is your bosses son so you can't badmouth him.