Waves Crashed || MYG

Chapter 4

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Yoongi's POV

Dear Yoongi,

This is probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to do but it has to be done. Four years ago, you walked out of my life. You ignored me when I needed and wanted you the most. For four years I've had to live with the pain of losing you. Then suddenly you came back into my life, but you were different. You are cruel and cold to me. It hurts to think that you care so little about me when we were once so close.

I don't understand you anymore. It only makes it worse to know that you are just toying with me, or at least that's how it seems. One minute you so compassion, caring, and genuine concern for me, the next m you are pushing me away. However despite all of this I still have feelings for you; I love you

But I can tell you don't feel the same, or I don't think you do. It hurts to see you playing with me, playing with my feelings. You were my first in everything and that fact will never change. However I don't think our time together meant anything to you.

As much as it pains me to do so I'm going back home to Daegu. I'm quiting my job at BigHit, and packing my bags. It's for the best. You have your life, your career, and I have mine. We will go our separate ways. Please know that I will never stop loving you but I will try to get over my feelings and move on. I love you and I will miss you

Love,
Y/N

I don't even remember how many times I re-read those words. I felt lost without her here. I messed up so bad and there was no way of fixing things. I was trapped in this hell of my own making.

I locked my self in my room for the past couple of day since Alison's appointment. The boys have tried to get me to come out but I refuse to listen to them. I only left my room when I absolutely had to. I just wanted this nightmare to end. But would it really end when the baby was born or would Alison still hold me captive.

A knock on my door broke me out of my train of thought. I pushed the note under my pillow and got up to open the door. Jin and Namjoon stood there with their bags for work.

"Yoongi, We have practice soon. You should clean up and come. We can't think of an excuse to give PD Nim as to why you aren't there again." Jin said. I just nodded and grabbed my bag from the floor. I threw on my black hoodie and made sure my hood stayed up. I guess it was time to go numb again.

- - -

After practice I sat in the corner of the studio looking at my next months's schedule that PD-Min gave to me. He only had be scheduled to come in for two weeks then I was off for the next two. I almost want to vomit when I remember the reason behind that. From the corner I watched the rest of the members messing around and talking. I envied them being so happy right now. Eventually their happy mood started to get to me and I decided to shut everything out by listening to music. I pulled my phone and headphones out of my bag, then shoved the earbuds into my ear.

As I sat back and continued to watch the members from across the room I couldn't help but notice one of them was missing. Jimin wasn't here.