Finding Me

Niggas ain't Shit Marathon

"I don't see enough of you in me for a future."

Is he fucking serious right now. I'll give him credit for the pretty damn original break up line. But three years together and it all boils down to this? He snatched three years of my life that I'll never get back. All of the memories we created mean nothing to him now evidently.

I examined his face before responding. His dark full lips glistened and I longed for their warm and welcoming embrace. His nose, rounded and slightly shiny. His chocolate brown eyes were glossy yet emotionless, as if he were trying to make it hard for me to read him.

"Fuck you." Finally responding with equally glossy eyes. I turned around swiftly and walked away. I couldn't let him see me cry, let him see how much he meant.

"Kamiran wait!" Zaad yelled but I didn't listen. I couldn't think. My chest was tight and steamy hot tears were pouring down my face. The last day of senior year, in the hallway next to Mrs. Caine's room, Zaad Johnson dumped me.

I had finally reached the student parking lot and was heading towards my car when Jalin called my name.

"Hey Kamiran, girl slow down!"

Me and Jalin have been friends since the fourth grade. She's basically the exact opposite of me, spontaneous and care free but we balance each other out. I stopped reluctantly and waited for her to catch up.

"Can you take me home today? My car is still in the shop."

"Of course I can." She immediately noticed the off tone in my voice and looked up at my tear stained face.

"Kami what's wrong? Did history class piss you off again?" She said with something resembling a concerned smirk. Well there was no hiding this from Jalin, she knows me too well.

"Zaad broke up with me." And with that simple sentence the waterworks began again, accompanied with ugly sobs.

"He what! That nigga is gonna get his fucking face caved in! Do you want me to key his car? Or I can just cut his dick off! Who's the other bitch? There's always a mystery bitch!" I have to admit, watching Jalin rambling on with such wild passion amused me and cheered me up a bit.

"Jalin calm down! We are not keying his car or cutting his dick off! The last thing we need is to end up on CNN breaking news looking like a pair of crazy black bitches." I did a little chuckle after that statement.

"Well don't let my crazy black ass see him 'cause I'm not responsible for my actions!"

I looked at her and shook my head slowly side to side. I'd have to keep her away from Zaad until she calmed down because I know that she had just enough psycho in her to do some shit.

We finally walked the rest of the way to my car and hopped in, Jalin still spitballing ideas of gruesome revenge and me unsuccessfully holding back tears.

I slipped the key into the ignition and turned, "Jalin can we just stop talking about him for now. I just wanna forget about him." My voice was shaky and unstable. I hated it.

"Fine I'll stop. But what exactly did he say to you?"

I inhaled deeply, "I don't see enough of you in me for a future."

Jalin scoffed, "Niggas! You are staying over my house and we are having a niggas ain't shit marathon!"

Any time me and Zaad or her and Tehzi had a major fight we would have one. These marathons usually consisted of pizza, icecream, and a plethora of Tyler Perry movies. And I'll be honest, they did help.

"Ok I think I can do that." She leaned over to my seat and gave me an awkward but meaningful hug.

"Don't even trip you will get over his sorry ass." I sure hope so.