Fallen

At What Cost

I stood where Jeongin will see me as he followed Jaebum hyung being taken to his room with his gaze, I gave him a sad smile when his eyes laid on me and gestured for him to follow me. He excused himself telling Bambam hyung that he needed air. I led him to the elevator, once inside I said "let's go to the rooftop," without a word he just followed what I said. Once there, he went straight to the edge of the rooftop leaning on the half wall in front of him and looked out in a distance. I stayed behind him thinking of a way to say what I want to say. "Jaebum hyung will live," I said after some time. "At what cost?" he silently asks. "What do you mean?" I quizzed. "Don't fuck with me Hyunjin," he said in an annoyed tone. "Hey watch your language," I countered. He breathes in and breathes out to calm himself and then faced me. "Did you make a deal with death?" he said as tears cloud his vision.

"I'm sorry..." I started but was cut off by Jeongin. "SORRY? DID YOU EVEN THINK OF HOW I WILL FEEL? DID YOU EVER THINK OF YOUR BROTHER'S FEELING?" he shouted at me. "I..." I started again. "JUST SHUT UP HYUNJIN," he clenched his fist and I was thankful that I was just a spirit. "What about me?" he said as tears fall freely from his eyes. "I can't live without you," he broke down and fell on his knees. It was me who clenched my fist this time. I mess up big time and all I want to do right now is to hug and comfort my boyfriend.

I found myself walking on a vast dandelion field, the last thing I can remember was Jeongin cuddling me. I stopped and looked around to see if there's anyone else in this realm. I heard a somewhat like an argument and face towards that direction, "You can't give up, I still need you there," one of the debaters said. "There's nothing left for me back there," the other argued. "What about Jinyoung? You saw how devasted he is of what had happened," The mention of hyung's name intrigued me and led me to search for whoever was arguing. I was almost at the edge of the field when I caught sight of the argumentors. One I recognized as Jaebum hyung, the other I guess was their friend Jackson who recently died as well. "You shouldn't trust me, Jackson I'm a traitor," Jaebum said an apologetic tone apparent in his voice. "I know why you did what you did Jaebum," Jackson said reassuringly. "I need you to save Mark for me," Jackson added. "That's your job as his boyfriend not mine," Jaebum argued. "I know but I'm stuck here until I find someone who will trade their life for me," Jackson said. "Then take me instead, I don't want to hurt Jinyoung anymore," Jaebum said. "And you think you won't hurt him by dying? How thick can you get Jaebum? Jinyoung loves you so much, yes he felt betrayed by what you've done but he still loves you," Jackson explained. "Then take me instead," I suddenly said startling both of them. "What are you talking about?" Jaebum exclaimed. "I won't let you sacrifice yourself, Jinyoung will be devastated if he lost you, he loves you so much" I simply said. "Excuse me but who is he?" Jackson said. "Jackson this is Hyunjin, Jinyoung's younger brother, Hyunjin Jackson, Jinyoung's friend," Jaebum introduced. "Hi please to finally meet you, I've heard a lot about you from Jinyoung," Jackson said while he stretched his hands for a handshake. "Pleasure to meet you too, likewise hyung told me a lot about you too. "You're distracting me, no one is sacrificing their life, we'll find a way for everyone to come back," Jaebum said. "There is no other way for me Jaebum," Jackson sadly said. "Then let me replace you," I simply said. "Are you insane? What about Jeongin? What about Jinyoung? What about everyone who loves you? Your future? Are you just going to throw away all of it?" Jaebum said with a little annoyance in his tone. "I'm scared too, but there's no other choice, I can tell that only you and Jackson hyung can save Mark hyung," I argued. "I'm not taking your spirit in replacement for mine," Jackson said. "If your not gonna do it I'll do it myself," I firmly said.

I crouched down in front of him and said, "I didn't want to leave you either, you know how much I love you, but I feel like Jackson hyung is the one who needs to save Mark hyung," I sadly said. "I can't lose you, not like this, not now," Jeongin said as he stood up and walked back to the elevator. I followed him as we bask ourselves in awkward silence. I cleared my throat and said, "I'm so sorry, I don't want this either." He ignored me, during the whole ride down. I followed him to Jaebum's room since the doctor adviced that I should get some rest and asked then to just visit me later. Five minutes inside the room and two souls started to materialize in front of us, or at least in front of me and Jeongin since Jinyoung hyung and Bambam hyung can't see spirit. "I do not agree with this," Jaebum said even before he's truly visible. "He already made his decision, the deal has been made," Jeongin said bitterly, unable to hold back his tears. "Who are you talking to?" Jinyoung hyung asked. "Jaebum hyung's spirit," he said. "You can see spirits? Where is he?" JInyoung hyung said as tears filled his eyes again. "He's right in front of you," Jeongin said. "Hyung don't leave me, please fight for us, I love you," Jinyoung hyung said. "Jackson hyung is here too, he's beside Jaebum hyung," Jeongin said almost a whisper. "Jaebum is not gonna die right?" Jinyoung said as he moved closer to Jeongin grabbing him by his shoulders. "He'll be okay, Jackson hyung said he's coming back as well," he said with bitterness apparent in his words. I was hoping that no one catches his tone but knowing my older brother he, of course, noticed it. "How can he come back they must have buried his body by now," Jinyoung said. "A sacrifice should be made, a soul for a soul" Jeongin quietly said. I saw Jinyoung hyung widen his eyes he knew what was going on. "Tell me who sacrificed his life?" Jinyoung said as he violently shakes Jeongin's shoulders. I saw Jeongin looked down as tears started to fall from his eyes. "TELL ME," Jinyoung hyung shouted. "Hyunjin," he said barely audible. Jinyoung hyung broke down and fell on his knees. "I'm sorry," Jeongin said still looking on the floor hiding his tear-stained face. "The deal has been cancelled," Jackson hyung said. "WHAT?" Jeongin and I chimed. "I found another way to come back without a sacrifice," He said rather joyful. "Is this true? That means that Hyunjin has a chance to live," Jeongin said. "Not just a chance, he will live," Jackson said. "Hyung, Hyunjin will live, the deal is off," Jeongin said at my confused hyung. "Don't ever do that again to me baby," he said as he faced me.