Anatomy of a broken heart Part Two: Hopes & Dreams apart from reality

Chapter Two: Baby Daddy & The New Girl

     I couldn't believe him, he always told me he'll never mess with a little girl. Just cause a person acts older than what they are doesn't mean they should be treated that way especially because she wants to grow up too fast. "Listen Jaya I don't condone this period, like at all but I'm letting him be that's it my boyfriend." That little girl was grown. When I tell you grown I mean she wasn't like how she was before. She felt like she had the same dick as me so she could compete with everything I've done. I'll tell ya she's a little weirdo. As days turned into weeks I didn't hear from Nevaeh's father. I didn't sweat it because I didn't wanna look like I wanted him. After a minute as time went by he ain't text or call one time for Nevaeh. It's been like a month, I decided to text him and see why he haven't called for her. If you know me, I never wanted to interfere I just wanted my baby to have her kin sometimes. I wanted her to know both sides and he wasn't playing his part. He responded to my message but this time he got smart. Now if you know how these arguments play out then I might as well stop writing. I felt like he was doing that because he thought I wanted him as always maybe he's upset that I don't because that's always the "problem". We argued and then I put up a status. When my status went up everybody knew who and what I was talking about. I can't even remember what I posted off the back of my hand all I know is the status was basically saying: we have a daughter how you dating somebody 5 years younger than you I'm telling her mother. I guess Sally must've seen what I wrote because she went on a snap rant and a Facebook rant all in one. Now sally we was never built to be a fighter all argue. I guess my baby father had her head gassed up. She commented on my post getting crazy and I couldn't believe lil miss Sally sue tried to play herself. For one I'm not about to argue over my baby father. Looking stupid over him with some little girl. "You mad he doesn't want you" yeah okay Sally thank god he don't. "Your mad ugly" And your titty's still ain't grow Sally. "You mad I took your baby father" No I'm happy. She'll learn shit ain't always a sunny day with him. Listen Nevaeh's father is the least of my worries. A relationship with him? Hell no. Shitting me? Goodbye I'll slap myself six times. He's not worth all that extra bullshit he pulls off. Sally stopped commenting after a minute. So I began going into why I don't want this guy. I was going off from his business down to his school records thinking I was really a judge. I could say at this point he got tired of me. He felt like I was always downing him which wasn't the case. You and I both know I don't want you, so why is this all happening. I even told Sally Lucy gonna get her and it ain't even gonna be me. Sally went live talking about me completely nothing to say but "You ugly and I took your baby father." You can't take somebody's baby father, that man either with his BM or not. I got the energy they both were giving me. For one ya don't mind repeating the same lies. Sally believed everything this man said about me everybody know me and this kid don't speak enough for anything he say to be true. When they don't know what you up to they tell lies. At this time, Jaya, Anthony and I went to Jaya's house to lay down do hookah and talk. The arguments began to simmer down. I ain't care enough to be mad because I did not want this man, I wanted a father for my baby. Forget a boyfriend or man outta this dude. Anyway, Jaya scrolls down her screen and sees him on live so she clicks it. He's telling social media all these lies about me. His friends are commenting saying there's a target on my back. He's calling me hoes saying my daughter was conceived a week after I supposedly had sex with some unknown nigga. He ain't give names so everybody knew he was lying. The thing that bothered me the most is his biggest lie. "I pick her up sometimes and be like is she really mine?" That's it I've had enough.

Anthony turned his live off. By time he looked up I had my head down whipping my face. "Why would he try to make me look bad like that? That's wack." Mind you this was so random nobody was really going off anymore. What made him sit there and tell so many lies? He was mad at my status about getting it together. I don't care about it no more but why do people constantly feel like it's their job to shame you, to break you down? On his case I ain't really mean to do that I hate that. I just wanted people to know that I didn't want him. "A target on my back?" From that day forward I began to realize that whatever he say it don't be important. All them lies were so terrible. He knew I was practically pure and that I would never be intimate with two men at the same time. That's not me. Everyone hears what they want about me. Anthony and Jaya told me get off Facebook. Facebook isn't really healthy for me at all, people will break you and your confidence in there. I can't just let go I have to do something and I keep telling myself don't react it's not worth it. I react too much most of the time I don't even care about the situation, I just continue to argue because I feel like I'm always right. Alright, I ain't blame him for saying anything because my post was basically he'll never get anywhere in life and that's not nice to say to anybody. I walked out Jaya house and proceeded the walk to my house. I had so much in my mind I couldn't even feel just one way about the situation. I was hurt because of the false accusations, he never lied on my body until that day. Angry because he's only doing this because he thought I was jealous like no for real? I wanted him to be happy with somebody our age because of immature shit like this. Shocked that people actually believed the damn fool. Most of all I was annoyed people could never take what I dish out. I say things that hit the heart then people start throwing low blows. This is a regular thing for me. People bring me to thinking I'm not liked by anyone sometimes. Welp maybe I am. I got tired of feeling like I'm being mistreated. I'm almost home and I was so upset it felt like I didn't blink the whole way home. It was 2:30 a.m and I knocked on my door. My mother answered and let me in. "Ma I swear now I'm minding my business, Lucy soon catch Sally and they will be arguing. I hung my texting gloves up, live gloves up and etc. "oh yeah I was just about to ask about Lucy where is she? Since Sally exist." I didn't know, I didn't know what Lucy was doing. All I know is she was supposedly doing good at this moment we ain't speak or argue in a while. Last time I checked she was losing weight. I love to see people doing good. Although, the situation I had to give her props she was doing her. Just like me without him there to fuck our shit up on both ends. "Ma just watch you'll see, I'm telling you." I shook my head and walked to my room. Phone was off for the rest of the night I didn't care for it anyway. If you know me it wasn't my iPhone I had a android because my six used to break often a little too often. I remembered the last time it fell, my boyfriend at the time texted me and it vibrates and fell off the dresser it was raining terrible that day. I woke up the next morning in my humble stage. Now he couldn't hurt me at all, I just felt like he was doing too much. I think he thought I thought I was better than him. I didn't, nobody knows my true feelings toward people unless your my two friends or one of my cousins. Sadly, I didn't feel good, I knew something would happen. Sally texts me again. I began to wonder what she wrote me for and why she wrote me. I thought I lost my mind when she did that. Sally would always write me trying to squash something but since she had Nevaeh's father behind her she felt more gangster. Nobody knows this but me my daughter's father hates me occasionally.

You never know when he'll defend me or try to play me. It depends on our terms. He says I hate him, he really thinks that I hate the thing he used to do. We actually wasn't speaking at all he wouldn't text me at all and I wasn't fucking with him at all anyway he could've at least tried for the baby though. Sally wanted to get under my skin after a minute I forgot shawty was young. I never paid young girls attention I give it to Sally, she was the first one to really get me tight to the pony where I wanted to fight her. I would always get mad at her for texting me, but this time she got my attention. Sally asked me about Nevaeh seeing her father. I don't like her at all so of course I told her stop being nosey. Then I said "You know how many times I've tried? Leave me alone you little Bitch I try my best." Her reply had me think that it wasn't her keeping him away he was just a bozo. Then again he went live and said she wasn't his so that's why I got defensive. I did try a lot though, at least I told her the truth. She felt bad kinda talking to me because she was my friend before. She knew he lacked consistency he knew he was outside a lot. I cursed her out though at the end because she said something outta line. Like basically saying it's my fault because I hate him and I don't want him around. Which was invalid I never hated that guy. He just couldn't respect me so I couldn't have him around me. Now it's not a problem he's alright, we friends it took a lot of bullshit to finally be cool. Well a couple a months go by and now it's beginning to get nice outside. I was always in school with my friends. Friends from school are always great especially the ones you know out of school too. I was working doing files most of the time as well. I had no time on my hands. One night it was Facebook mix up while I was sleeping. I woke up the next morning to screenshots in the group chat. Group chats are fun until all ya bitches and arguing over who ain't respond. They fun too everybody just laughing and cracking jokes. It was Sally and Lucy ! I told everyone. "I knew it" "told ya she was coming."