Mine (bxb) (bdsm)

Chapter Four

A/N

Updating because you guys are awesome and I love your comments :)

When my alarm goes off, I notice three things immediately. One; my feet hurt like a motherfucker. Two; I have to punish Ben today for the first time. And three; shit, I have to punish Ben today.

I sit up and lean back against the headboard, looking at his sleeping form next to me. He's going to have a headache when he has to get up, and I try to be quiet. Let the poor thing sleep as long as he can, because I know he'll be miserable.

Ben is absolutely terrified of punishment. I know that, and I also know that his pain tolerance is ridiculously low. I don't want to hurt him badly physically- he'll just panic and safe word and I don't want that to be his first ever experience with punishment. I also know that he's probably going to hype this up in his head, and the anticipation is going to eat at him.

The idea of letting him punish himself, waiting and waiting in the isolation room is the first thing that I think of. But i remember his fear of being alone and know I have to be careful with using that.

Still. It's reasonable. Ben wandered off by himself, and left me when I told him not to. So perhaps his punishment should be that he's by himself. I think that's a good idea, and it's all mental; I don't have to worry about his pain tolerance. But I don't think I want him in the isolation room- I'll send him to the corner instead, and I'll stay near him. Much lighter.

The second thing he did was drink. His drinking led to him somehow losing his shoes, making me walk home barefoot and wind up with frostbite. My feet still ache and in the back of my mind I make a mental not to visit the doctor if it doesn't go away- I really am worried about permanent nerve damage.

This half of the punishment is trickier; not only do I have to show him that it isn't okay to drink without permission, but also make it clear that his actions have consequences and those consequences, this time, were me being hurt. I know he's going to struggle with this part especially- he's going to be upset about it and think it's his fault that I'm all fucked up. Which I suppose some people would say it is, but I don't see it that way. He was drunk and I wanted to take care of him, make sure he didn't hurt.

Ben stirs in his sleep and I lower my hand to stroke his cheekbone, luring him back to rest- I want him to get plenty of sleep. He doesn't need to he exhausted on top of everything else.

Finally, I come up with what I want to do. He'll have to stand in the corner for thirty minutes. During that time he will receive thirty spanks to a bare bum. It's as light as I can go. He's lucky, to be quite honest. If he had been my sub longer it would've been much worse, and I know I won't spank him hard. Most of his punishment is mental.

Ben stirs in his sleep again, and this time I let him wake up completely, watching him as he winces at his headache. Shit. Do I want to spank him? The jarring movement might upset his head even more... no. He deserves to deal with the headache; it's his fault it happened. I'll give him Advil and water as part of aftercare.

"Ben," I say, and his sleepy eyes meet mine.

"Yes sir?" He asks, and I look at him sternly, but not angrily.

"Today is your first punishment. Don't be afraid, but I need you to stand up and come with me.

I don't want to punish him in the bedroom- this needs to be a place that is only ever safe and happy for him. He swallows hard and nods, trying to be brave, but I notice the tears in his eyes already. It isn't the time for it right now, but I'll make sure that as part of the aftercare I hold him and make sure he knows that I'm not mad.