READ WITH CAUTION BECAUSE IT'S 1:52 ON A SCHOOL NIGHT AND THIS CHAPTER IS BAD!
[Matt:]
Alright, alright. That's what I'm talkin' about!
Now everyone give it up for the maid of honor
Lacey Schuyler!
[Lacey (all men) {all women}:]
A toast to the groom!
(To the groom!)
(To the groom!)
{(To the groom!)}
To the bride!
{To the bride!}
(To the bride!)
{To the bride!}
From your sister
(Lacey!)
(Lacey!)
{(Lacey!)}
Who is always by your side
(By your side)
{By your side}
To your union
{(To the union!)}
{(To the revolution!)}
And the hope that you provide
(You provide!)
{(You provide!)}
May you always...
{(Always)}
Be satisfied
{(Rewind)}
[Recorded Samples:]
Rewind, rewind
Helpless, sky's, sky's
Drownin' in 'em
Drownin', rewind
I remember that night, I just might (rewind)
I remember that night, I just might (rewind)
I remember that night, I remember that
[Lacey:]
I remember that night, I just might
Regret that night for the rest of my days
I remember those soldier boys
Tripping over themselves to win our praise
I remember that dreamlike candlelight
Like a dream that you can't quite place
But Keith Kogan, I'll never forget the first time I saw your face
I have never been the same
Intelligent eyes in a hunger-pang frame
And when you said "Hi," I forgot my dang name
Set my heart aflame, ev'ry part aflame
[Full Company:]
This is not a game...
[Keith:]
You strike me as a woman who has never been satisfied
[Lacey:]
I'm sure I don't know what you mean
You forget yourself
[Keith:]
You're like me
I'm never satisfied
[Lacey:]
Is that right?
[Keith:]
I've never been satisfied
[Lacey:]
My name is Lacey Schuyler
[Keith:]
Keith Kogan Hamilton
[Lacey:]
Where's your fam'ly from?
[Keith:]
Unimportant
There's a million things I haven't done but
Just you wait, just you wait...
[Lacey:]
So so so... so this is what it feels like to match wits
With someone at your level! What the hell is the catch?
It's the feeling of freedom, of seein' the light
It's Ben Franklin with a key and a kite! You see it, right?
The conversation lasted two minutes, maybe three minutes
Ev'rything we said in total agreement, it's
A dream and it's a bit of a dance
A bit of a posture, it's a bit of a stance
He's a bit of a flirt, but I'mma give it a chance
I asked about his fam'ly, did you see his answer?
His hands started fidgeting, he looked askance?
He's penniless, he's flying by the seat of his pants
Handsome, boy, does he know it!
Peach fuzz, and he can't even grow it!
I wanna take him far away from this place
Then I turn and see my sister's face and she is...
[Allura:]
Helpless...
[Lacey:]
And I know she is...
[Allura:]
Helpless...
[Lacey:]
And her eyes are just...
[Allura:]
Helpless...
[Lacey:]
And I realize
[Lacey and Company:]
Three fundamental truths at the exact same time...
[Keith:]
Where are you taking me?
[Lacey:]
I'm about to change your life
[Keith:]
Then by all means, lead the way
[Company (except Lacey):]
Number one!
[Lacey:]
I'm a girl in a world in which
My only job is to marry rich
My father has no sons so I'm the one
Who has to social climb for one
So I'm the oldest and the wittiest and the gossip in
New York City is insidious
And Keith Kogan is penniless
Ha! That doesn't mean I want him any less
[Allura:]
Allura Schuyler. It's a pleasure to meet you
[Keith:]
Schuyler?
[Lacey:]
My sister
[Company:]
Number two!
[Lacey:]
He's after me 'cause I'm a Schuyler sister
That elevates his status, I'd
Have to be naïve to set that aside
Maybe that is why I introduce him to Allura
Now that's his bride
Nice going, Lacey, he was right
You will never be satisfied
[Allura:]
Thank you for all your service
[Keith:]
If it takes fighting a war for us to meet, it will have been worth it
[Lacey:]
I'll leave you to it
[Company:]
Number three!
[Lacey:]
I know my sister like I know my own mind
You will never find anyone as trusting or as kind
If I tell her that I love him she'd be silently resigned
He'd be mine
She would say, "I'm fine."
[Lacey and Company:]
She'd be lying
[Lacey:]
But when I fantasize at night
It's Keith Kogan's eyes
As I romanticize what might
Have been if I hadn't sized
Him up so quickly
At least my dear Allura's his wife;
At least I keep his eyes in my life...
[Lacey (all men) {all women}:]
To the groom!
(To the groom!)
(To the groom!)
{(To the groom!)}
To the bride!
{To the bride!}
(To the bride!)
{To the bride!}
From your sister
(Lacey!)
(Lacey!)
{(Lacey!)}
Who is always by your side
(By your side)
{By your side}
To your union
{(To the union!)}
{(To the revolution!)}
And the hope that you provide
(You provide!)
{(You provide!)}
May you always...
{(Always)}
Be satisfied
(Be satisfied)
{Be satisfied}
(Be satisfied)
And I know
{(Be satisfied)}
(Be satisfied)
(Be satisfied)
(Be satisfied)
She'll be happy as
(Be satisfied)
(Be satisfied)
His bride
{(Be satisfied)}
And I know
(Be satisfied)
(Be satisfied)
(Be satisfied)
{Be satisfied}
He will never be satisfied
I will never be satisfied
EXTRA**sorry I had to
Keith:
Lacey...
Lacey:
Keith Kogan...
Congratulations;
You've invented a new kind of stupid
A damage you can never undo
Kind of stupid
An open all the cages in the zoo
Kind of stupid
Clearly, you didn't think this through,
Kind of stupid
Let's review
You took a rumor a few
Maybe two people knew
And refuted it by sharing an affair
Of which no one had accused you
I begged you to take a break
You refused to
So scared of what your enemies will do to you
But you're the only enemy you ever seem to lose to!
You know, Takashi can do what he wants
He doesn't dignify schoolyard taunts with a response!
So yeah, congratulations!
Keith:
Lacey...
Lacey:
You've redefined your legacy, congratulations!
Keith:
It was an act of political sacrifice!
Lacey:
...Sacrifice?
I languished in a loveless marriage in London
I lived only to read your letters
I look at us and think,
"God, what have we done with our lives,
And what did it get us?"
That doesn't wipe the tears or the years away
But I'm back in the city
And I'm here to stay
You know what I'm here to do?
Keith:
Lacey...
Lacey:
I'm not here for you...
I know my sister like I know my own mind
You will never find anyone as trusting or as kind
And a million years ago
She said,
"This one's mine,"
So I,
Stood by...
Do you know why?!
I love my sister more than anything in this life!
I would choose her happiness over mine
Every time
Allura!
Is the best thing in our lives
And never lose sight of the fact
That you have been blessed with the best wife!
Congratulations
For the rest of your life!
Every sacrifice is for my sister
Give her the best life!
Congratulations
( Ok now that shit is over, but I am not going to lie when I say that I started thinking about @LersieBermudez when writing this, you should go cheek her out btw.)
