Debts

Hopeless.

Well, if you were to ask me, family or money first, my answer would probably be money. Why not family? Thanks to someone, I was the one clearing debts for him. But the debts would just never end and instead, were piled up months after months.

I had to start clearing debts since the age of 16. I was forced to at that time. On some random morning, an indespicable father of mine, would use his rough and huge hands to grab onto my legs or even sometimes onto my hair to pull me off from the bed. My butt landed on a loud 'Thump' onto the concrete floor that every single time there will be a big patch of 'blue-black' formed under my butt's skin. There were times when I could not even sit on a chair properly, that made me either lay on the bed for the whole day, or stood for hours without sitting.

My father was an addictive gambler and an alcoholic. Everytime he loses money in the casino, he would come home drunk and start hitting mum and I. But mum would always never fail to hug me tightly and protect me from getting hit or spanked by that crazy drunk father. Mum was totally my hero and I love her endlessly. Sadly, she had passed away awfully after getting beaten up crucially by that inhuman father one day while I was still schooling. I cried for the entire month and locked myself up in my room most of the time after my father was sent to jail.

I was a hopeless girl with no directions to move on.