After The Kiss

Chapter 3

Once we made it outside, I keep following her till we reach the bleachers. Nobody is out here so it's just the two of us.

I'm so caught up in my own thoughts that I don't realize Brittany stopped walking and I bump into her. I mumble a sorry and start cursing under my breath. Why am I so nervous?

We stand there for a minute and there's an uncomfortable silence I never felt before, not with her anyway. She clears her throat and crosses her arms over her chest, she's losing her patience and I know it. I want to look away but I can't because her eyes are boring into mine. I open my mouth a couple of times but I'm unable to form words, so I close my eyes and take a deep breath.

She furrows her brows, "Are you going to say anything anytime soon or can I go back inside?" She's mad, I can tell and the only thing I can seem to do at the moment, is look at my shoes. I'm such a coward.

Taking a step forward, she lifts my chin and looks me directly in the eye, "just say it already", she closes her eyes in defeat. "If you don't wanna be with me, just tell me so we can cut this and go back to our miserable li-" I don't let her finish. Instead, I close the distance between us and connect our lips. I feel her smile into the kiss and when she surges forward to depend it, I instantly back away. I watch her face fall and try to compose myself, we're both breathing heavily.

She opens her mouth but I don't even let her say a word, "I want you..." her smile grows and I can't help but give her a small one in return. "but I ca- we can't", I watch as her smile disappears and her eyes fills with tears. "I'm sorry, I don't want to hurt you. More than I already did" I whisper the last part as I extend my hand to wipe the tears that are rolling down her face.

Her hand cups my wrist and she leans into the touch, she closes her eyes once again before speaking. "I love you, Santana. You can't hurt me. You don't see it, do you?" She tightens her grip, "I'm hurting without you, I need you" she's looking at my lips now and I can't help but swallow hard.

"Before we broke up you said I left you behind and I don't want to do that again, I don't want to see you sad, much less be the reason why you're sad. That's why we can't be together", my eyes fill up with tears and I start shaking. I'm having a hard time breathing but I need to tell her everything I told Quinn, it's only fair "truth is, you're are the best thing that's ever been mine, Britt and I love you so, so much", my breath hitches in my throat and I try to suppress a sob, "and I want you, B. I want everything with you, I really do" she's looking intently at me and a faint smile appears on her face but I know she's waiting for a 'but' because she knows there is one, "but as much as I want to, I can't get back together with you and then have us separated when you need to come back to MIT and I to NY. I won't stand it. So I'm setting you free so you can live your life and be happy because..." my breathing increases even more and I can't contain my tears anymore, so I let myself breakdown in front of her. "...you, mo-more than an-anyone deserves to be happy" I tell her between sobs.

Looking at her, I realize she's crying too. I feel guilty for making her cry but halfway through my apology, she cuts me off by crashing our lips together. This kiss lasts longer than the one we shared a few minutes ago and it's more intense, both trying to convey our feelings into it.

We pull apart when the need for air is necessary. She smiles at me and wipes my tears with her thumb. I lean into her touch, loving the feeling of her skin against mine.

She's smiling so big that I can't stop looking at her lips, but then they start to move and I shake my head to focus on what she's saying but with not such luck. When my eyes find the piercing blue ones in front of me, I realize she's looking intently at me, like she just asked me a question and is waiting for my response. Question I clearly didn't hear because I was too caught up lusting over her lips. I feel my cheeks burning red; she takes that as a hint and starts to repeat what she was saying.

"Tell me you don't miss this and I swear I'll accept that you have a girlfriend or whatever excuse you'll use to not want to get back together", her voice is so soft that if I wasn't this close to her, I wouldn't have heard her.

I open my mouth to say something but she cuts me off. "...but you and I both know that you want this as much as I do", she's breathing heavily and it's now that I realize I've been holding my breath.

I don't even try to deny what she's saying. It's useless, she knows me so well. "I can't do long distance. We tried that once and it didn't end well. What's gonna happen when...?", the question lingers in the air, I don't even have to finish it because she knows what I mean.

"I'm not going back to MIT", she says as she takes both my hands in hers.

"I-I..." I stutter.

"Just say it, say that you want me with you and I'll take the next flight to NY", her voice still soft, trying to convey her feelings.

I take a deep breath, "Britt, I can't ask you to leave MIT after all the hard work you did", I look at our hands and give it a gentle squeeze.

She chuckles, god I really missed that sound. "You don't understand", a smile tugs at her lips. "I'm not asking you to tell me I should leave MIT..." she pauses, "...I'm not going back, it's settled". Her eyes travel from mine to my lips and to my eyes again, "I'm just asking for you to say that you want to be with me so I can go pick up my stuff and meet you in NY so we can rent an apartment because there's no way in hell I'm sharing the loft with Rachel, Kurt, Blaine and Sam. I love them, but I want alone time with you. That's all. So...what do you say?" she looks so smug right now and I can't help but smile at her.

I take my time to answer her even though I know what I'm going to say. I'm just taking in everything she just told me. She wants alone time with me and I'm not even thinking about sex, I mean she wants to give up everything to be with me and it's overwhelming. As cheesy as it may sound, I have butterflies in my stomach and I feel like my face is going to rip into two because of how much I'm smiling. God, I love this woman!

"Yes" I whisper. I don't know why because there nobody else in here.

"Did I hear correctly?" the smug look on her face is long forgotten, she's whispering along with me. "Santana, I need you to say it again and a little bit louder this time so I know this is real", her blue eyes are now filled with tears but I can tell they're happy ones.

"YES!" I yell and I'm instantly being lifted off of the ground by Brittany, as she starts to spin me in circles. A giggle escapes me and is soon followed by her laugh.

When she puts me down again, I see a tear rolling down her face so I wipe it with my thumb and place soft kisses trailing the path the tear had been trailing just a moment before. I smile at her and she smiles back at me even wider.

"So...yes, huh?" she smirks at me and I nod, reaffirming what I said. "Then, that's it. I'm not letting you walk away from me again, San".

"Wouldn't dream of it" I can't believe this is actually happening. I got her back, I don't need anything else. I'm so happy right now; I think I've never smiled so much in my life. My face is actually hurting but I don't even care. "I love you and I missed you so much" I say in between kisses.

"Me too, sweetie. Me too". She pulls me even closer by the waist and depends the kiss.

Right now, I feel like she's everything I need and I know we can keep working on this. We both want it and we've grown so much that I think everything is possible.

No more heartache for either one of us, no more sad tears, no more loneliness. A year ago I made the worst mistake by breaking up with her, but I learned my lesson. She's the love of my life and I plan on showing it to her every day from now on and as long as she lets me because I believe we'll be okay.

The End