It All Started With A Fight (Opie Winston)

Chapter 4

Getting back home I grab my labtop to touch up some of my work. I had a blog called Haddy Mae's Life and I would blog about being a single parent, relationship advice, kid friendly activitys and recipes. I would post ever Sunday so I would write four blogs a month and I would write them all at one time and post when it's time. It's good money, I make four thousand dollars a month and it's the perfect job for a single parent. I'm just proof reading my post for Sunday it's on being a single mom and abusive relationships.
Being a single parent can be very challenging at times, especially to a little boy. I often catch myself at time thinking "How can I raise a little boy into a man all on my own" "Am I making the right decision for him" and the answer is "Raise him to never raise a hand to a female. To stand up for what's right even it that means standing alone. Defend the one who can't defend themselves. Raise him to speak his feeling and not be afraid of his emotions. Yes, I WILL make mistake at times but I'm doing what I think is best for him" and my parenting came to light last week when my son got into a fight with a boy for hurting a girl. An in that moment I was a proud mama! Growing up I always dreamed of one day being a mom and having lots of kids but I never pictured myself a single mom but here I am a single mom to an amazing little boy. When I got pregnant I knew I needed to leave my baby's father. I met my ex when I was 16 years old and quickly fell in love with him. At first our relashionship was perfect, sure we argued but what couple doesn't? Then one night when we were 18 he came home mad, I never seen him that mad before. That's the first night he hit me and I should have left him then but he told me he was sorry and it would never happen again and I believed him. That was the first of many hits I would recive from him. He started beating me daily to the point I was unconscious. Nothing I ever did was good enough in his eyes so he gave me what he thought I deserved. His excuse for hitting me was "You got me mad" "If you do what I say I wouldn't lose my temper" and after a while I started believing it was fault. Then when I was 20 I got sick, I  couldn't keep food down and I was vomiting so I went to the doctor while he was at work. That day I found out I was pregnant and that's the minute I knew I need to leave him. So that's what I did, I packed my things and left, never looking back. The hardest thing about raising your child alone is when they look you in the eyes and say "Where's my daddy". I remember the day my son asked me that. He was 4 and we were watching Author and he looked at me with his bright blue eyes and said "Why don't I have a daddy like Author" "Does he not love me" and my heart broke into a million pieces. How do you tell your child it's better if their dad isn't in their life? So I told him "You do have a daddy and he loves you very but he cant be with us right now" and he said "ok" and turn back to the tv, then came Christmas. I took him to see Santa and before his turn I said "Do you know what you will ask Santa for" and he looks at me smiling and say "For my daddy" and I didn't know how to respond. How would you respond to that? I just hope when he's older he understands that I had to leave.
If you are someone you know is in a abusive relationship call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233
      Until next time, Haddy Mae
After I fixed all my mistakes I checked the time and saw it was time to go get Ryder so I saved my post, turned off my labtop and grabbed keys, wallet and phone and headed out.