My Saving Grace

broken pieces

(The song inspiration for the chapter I think it fits Jay's point of view more)

Still gabbys point of view

"How is she doc?" Hermann asked,"you can tell us,everyone here is family to Bri."
Will sighed, with a sad look in his eyes,"we tried everything we could, she didnt make it. The bullet went thru the main artery of her lung and the blood was filling up in her lung,that's why she was she was fighting for air."
Jay had his head in his hands,and he just lost it. He got up and puched a wall and went out.
My baby sister was dead,first Matt almost died on me now my sister is dead.
"Ill go find Jay you stay here. We have to take this day by day." Tonio said before walking out to find Jay.

(Jay's point of view)

I had to leave, my heart feeling like it was ripped out of my chest. My girl is gone forever, from some bastard that killed her.
My beautiful sweet Bri, she was my world. Now shes gone I dont know what do to. I can still see her bleeding. I sat on one of the benches outside the hospital and just cried.
"There you are." I looked up to see Antonio standing in front of me.
"Shes can't be gone man." I said trying to fight back tears reaching into my jacket pocket with shakey hands,"I was going to take her to dinner tonight and propose to her. I can't do that now,how am I going to get past this? I cant. Shes my freaking world. I loved her so dam much. Why did he take her form me? I shouldve stayed with her, she told me she was fine before I came in,Antonio, I had a sick feeling in my gut to go check on her but I didn't. It should've been me on that table not Bri. I couldve stopped her " I said showing him the ring.
"You did everything you could Jay."
" I couldve stayed out there with her Antonio,its my dam fault she's dead and not with me. My fault I promised I would always protect her and I let her go." I felt tears falling on my hands
I couldnt stay here and listen to people tell me how sorry they are for me. I'm gonna find the bastard that did this to Bri, I'm gonna do this for her even if I have to work myself enless. Its the best I could do for my girl.

(Gabby's point of view)

[A few days after the funeral]

"Hows Jay?" I asked walking over to Tonio and handing him his cup of coffee
"A workaholic, hasnt left his desk the only time he does its to get coffee, he rarely talks to anyone anymore. This isnt the same Jay anymore Gab. Hes determined to fine this guy, hes living on coffee. When Bri died a part of him did to. He fipped out on Atwater the other day because he wanted him to go home and rest. Took me,voight and Lindsey to get them apart. I swear Jay doesnt have a mean bone in his body you know that."
"When Bri died it tore us all apart,but it hit Jay the hardest. He did everything he could to save her. He's a shell,trying to make it thru without her. He looks like a lost puppy, hes doing what he can to cope."
"He was going to propose to her the night she died gab. Showed me the ring, she would've said yes to. They were inseparable."
I looked surprised at him,now my heart really broke for him.
"Im just scared he's gonna do something he's gonna do something to hurt himself or get himself hurt in this job. His heads not in the job, its on Bri."

(Jay's point of view)

I was on my way to the fire hall since they practically kicked me out of the station, told me to take off as long as I needed to get my head back on.I cant till I get the guy that killed Bri, and im not going to stop till I do.
Its only been a month since then and I keep getting dead ends,worthless leads.
And its killing me, I was on my way into the firehall when I froze and my mind just went into overdrive.
I looked down and saw blood,and I feel like I couldnt breathe.

(Gabby's point of view)

I was on my way to the dining area when I saw Jay leaning against the wall blocking the way,staring at the floor, then it hit me thats were Bri was.
I went over to Jay and gently touched his shoulder not wanting to scare him. He jumped and looked at me but over me, "weres bri gabby? She said she meet me here. We were suppose to go to dinner,its not like her to be late."
"Why don't we go sit down I'm pretty sure shes just running late." I said helping him to the sofa. Were Sylvie was she came up to me and whispered so he wouldnt hear," in one of those flashbacks again?"
"It's his way of coping Sylvie, but I havent seen him this bad. He looks like he hasnt slept in days,hes rarely eating. God I feel bad for him, I hate that I have to play along with it, but I have to tell him shes not coming home."
"Gabby?" I heard Jay ask from his spot in the sofa
"Ya Jay?"
"Do you have any fresh coffee made or do you want me to make some?" He replied looking this way.Now its killing me,he looks like a lost puppy.
"I know shes not coming back Gabby but a part of me is still expecting her to come thru those doors and run to me and hug me. I can't believe shes gone." He said before sitting on the sofa and breaking down.
I sat beside him and my hand up and down his back in a friendly manner.
"I cant go home, I cant go anywhere without seeing her. Its killing me." He replied
"She wouldnt want you to be like this Jay."
"I know. She was my rock just as much as I was hers. And now a part of my world is gone."

A week later, we were having a cookout when Jay disapeared. I mean hes here but we can't find him.
"He's around here some were gab, quit being the mother hen." Matt said teased
I went to the kitchen to get more ice for the coolers when I looked over to the sofa and found Jay passed out with one arm over his eyes,Finally the guy is catching up on well needed sleep. I grabbed a light blanket from the chair and covered him.
"Hey -" Severide began to say before I shushed him and pointing to a still sleeping Jay.
I went over to him and away from jay so I dont wake him,"hes finally sleeping,the poor thing needs sleep. So please you and any one else dont wake him please."
He held his hands up in surrender,"ok mom." He teased before walking back out. I quickly grabbed the bag of ice before going out and shutting the lights off.
'Please watch over this boy bri he loved you with everything he had' I prayed hoping she can hear me from heaven.