Big Time

Twenty

Barbara and John married in early summer. They flew to Boston for a ceremony in a 1920s weatherboard Catholic Church with mostly Barbara’s family and friends. Annie, Hank, and the kids, John’s mother, Rob and Jill, Mac, and Michael and Sarah all flew over. Barbara had a long-time friend from Boston and Rebecca, her girlfriend from New York, as her bridesmaids. John had Rob and Mac as his groomsmen. John’s mother had asked if Barbara’s family were also Presbyterian. John purposefully said he would find out, rather than tell his mother straight away; he considered it ridiculous of her to care in this day and age.

John had also invited Liam, who had Scarlett for the weekend and couldn’t come. Standing at the altar and seeing how large Barbara’s family was in comparison to his, he wished he’d invited more people. He felt the perspiration on his forehead and tried to discretely wipe it away.

“How are you doing?” asked Rob.

“Fine,” said John, fake smiling.

“You look a little white,” sad Mac.

This wasn’t what he needed to hear as he tried his best to suppress his fears and present himself as a confident, happy groom. But as the groomsmen stood there in their tuxedos in front of the 60-odd guests, he felt queasy in the pit of his stomach. She’s the one, he told himself. He’d been repeating it to himself all morning; whenever he’d stood still for a second and his thoughts caught up with him.

“Let’s get a glass of water,” suggested Rob.

John raised an eyebrow, as if to say Really? Do I look that bad?

Pint-sized Joshua stood next to him dressed in his mini-tux, looking up at the three men. He held the ring in its box tightly, having lost it in his pocket during rehearsal, and been instructed by his mother afterwards on the seriousness of the job and how he had to stand perfectly still.

“Joshua, we are just going to get a glass of water,” John explained. “Do you want to go and sit with mom?”

Joshua looked back at him blankly, unsure. The three stared at Joshua waiting for an answer.

“Come on,” said Rob, taking his hand. Joshua looked ready to cry, as if he’d done something wrong.

John knew exactly how he felt. “Everything’s alright Josh, we’re just getting a drink of water. We’ll be back in a minute. Do you want to stand here or wait with mom?”

“Mom,” murmured Joshua and Rob took him over.

John gave a smile to his mother, Annie and the guests as he and Mac walked off stage to the anteroom to the right of the chapel.

“John, its game time,” said Mac. “You alright?”

John was momentarily doubtful of the right answer. “Sure,” he answered, unsure.

“You want to go ahead with this?”

John was taken aback at Mac’s question.

“Don’t be stupid,” said Rob, walking in. “You’ll be fine, Sport,” he said getting John a glass of water.

John looked at them each in turn and then himself in the mirror and saw just how white his face was.

“Who doesn’t get nervous on their big day?” added Rob.

That’s right, I’m just nervous, John told himself. And that’s natural. She’s the one. I’ll be fine. She’s the one! He slapped himself lightly with his clammy hands trying to get some color back into his cheeks. Rob put his hand on his back and started patting him. He took a few deep breaths.