Good Enough (Jerrie)

Chapter Twenty-Two

Perrie

I sat on the couch staring into Jade's eyes. This was it. I was about to come clean with everything in my life. All of my secrets were going to become her secrets as well.

"I'm insecure for a lot of different reasons. Oh god where do I start?" I say with a small chuckle. I bite my lip and sigh. "Alright. Ever since I was a little girl I used to feel insecure. I was always super thin and awkward. My parents always told me to be myself and not to care what others thought. Naturally I tried to live like that." I start to tell Jade.

She nods at me. "In early grade school kids would tease me for my hair which was practically white or how pale and thin I was. This started to break my self esteem. When I was twelve years old there was a group of popular girls who teased me in front of the whole class. That was the first time I went home and cried myself to sleep." I tell Jade. She's holding my hand sweetly as I tell her everything.

"Things started to get worse for me. Those girls would purposely tease me for no reason. They'd take my lunch money, trip me, just do anything to make my life miserable. Soon they all got boyfriends and would tease me because no boy liked me. Meanwhile I was dealing with my secret sexuality and questioning of my girl crushes were normal." I sigh and wipe my eyes. Here come the first tears. Jade doesn't say anything as she wraps her arms around me.

"They were the reasons I started to cut myself. The teasing became more frequent and worse. As it became worse, I took it out on myself by slitting my wrists and starving myself. My parents were divorced at the point and they both worked a lot so I'd be home alone a lot." I explain to Jade. She rubs my head softly and still doesn't say a single word.

"Soon we had our first school dance. I felt really excited about it and got a really nice dress and even had a date. My dress had long sleeves to hide my cuts and I felt extremely beautiful. Everything was great until we got to the dance. The popular group took one look at me and began laughing. My date didn't know what to do and just ditched me the whole night. I sat in the bathroom crying for most of the night. Once I had come out, the populars were waiting for me and that was the first time I got beaten up." I tell Jade as my voice cracks.

I start to cry into Jade as she holds me closer and kisses my head. "Soon getting beaten up was the nice punishment that I got for being me. I lost all my friends at this point and I was an outcast. I contemplated suicide, but I was always too chicken to try. All I had was my voice. I knew it was somewhat decent. That's why I went for X-Factor. X-Factor gave me my saviors. I was in complete shock when you guys were so nice to me. I was in complete shock that people seemed to like me now." I tell her while smiling. I think back to the day the judges told us that we were going to be in a group together. Jade, Jesy, and Leigh-Anne truly changed my life.

"Obviously there's more shit I went through but that's the main idea of it." I tell Jade while wiping my eyes. I look up at her and she's crying too. She smiles at me and takes my hands into hers. "Perrie. I'm glad you were too chicken to." She tells me sweetly. I smile at her and rest my head on her chest.

"I want to know everything Perrie." Jade tells me as she shifts her body to make me more comfortable. "That's so much to tell." I whine at her. I can feel her eyes staring at me. This woman is so stubborn.

"Alright. Well my first true crush on a girl was on this schoolmate I had. She was beautiful. I was dumb enough to believe she could like me. I started to dress nicer and actually did my hair and makeup for her to notice me. She was shy like me but she was also very cool. Well one day we got partnered for this project and I was so excited. I got her phone number and address to work on the project. After a couple days working on the project we got close. I thought she could like me because I was flirting mad hard...or at least I thought I was." I sighed and took a deep breath. I looked behind me and could tell that Jade didn't enjoy this story as much as the other stories.