How to Breathe

1. in

I was drowning, I couldn't breathe. The depths of the water seemed to be dragging me down faster than I could swim. No matter how hard I tired, I knew the water was going to win. And that wasn't even the scariest part.

***

I woke up from my dream, in a pool of sweat. I was huffing and puffing like I just ran a mile in less than three minutes.

"You're fine, you're fine." I said repeatedly to myself. Realizing my heart was still going way faster than it should be, I got out of bed and headed to my bathroom.

I splashed my face with water, snapping my head out of the haze it was still in. And the sound of the running water relaxed my tight muscles.

"Calm down, Charlotte. Everything is fine... just.. calm.. down." I repeated in my head like a mantra that could solve all problems, if I believed it.

What time is it, I thought to my very tired self. I turned around to look at the clock in the wall, it read two twenty-nine in the morning.

"Oh God!" I exclaimed. I bragged my body back to bed, hoping and praying that sleep could over take me and never let me go.

**

"You spend me right around, right around like a record, baby..." I heard when I let my eye peak open. It was my stupid alarm clock with that stupid song that I was too busy and or lazy to change.

"Oh shut up, you stupid song!" I almost growled.

As I throw my arm on top of the clock and press the off bottom, I grabbed my phone that was underneath me. It was a Monday morning at the end of October, my favorite time of year. The sun was slightly praying out from my lavender curtains, casting a purplish ray of light on to my wall.

"Charlotte! Get your butt down here before I bragged it down here myself!"

"Yes, Mother!" I yelled for her to hear.

"Don't yell in my house, young lady!" She continues to yell out.

"Now that's just a double standard." I said to myself, as I got my sore body out of bed. I padded my way to my door leading to the hallway.

It was seven in the morning with school starting in a hour. It was too early to deal with my mom.

"What do you want Mother, I have to get ready for school?" I yawned.

"Charlotte, remember you start tutoring today after cross country practice." She said, taking a sip of her coffee.

"Mother, we talked about this! I'm not doing cross country this year. I have been doing it since middle school." I replied, tired of having this conversation for the hundredth time.

"Coach Jem won't be happy losing her star player." She reprimanded.

"She can deal with it, I don't want to waste my time running." I said kind of peeved that I still have to go to another practice.

"What are you even going to do with your free time?" She asks clueless. Mother often forgets there is a world outside of this to big house and school.

"You know Mother, I have friends and school work that I have to think about."

"Oh yes, I know. But that's a lot of free time you'll have."

"Then I can get to work on the pile of books I want to read, or get ahead in school." I reminded her of my sixteenth birthday, where all I got were books.

"Okay darling, now eat and hurry to get ready."

"Yes Mother." I replied as she went up the stairs.

I ate my grape jelly covered toast, and I thought about how many books I could read in my new to be free time. Usually once I read a book two to three time, I donate them to the local book stores.

I left my house, not knowing what the next few months will have in store for me.