The Juice Crew

(3) Fruit Shoot Criminals, Part 2

"Dear Diary,
It's me again, Will. I'm beginning to think that working for the shady part of town probably wasn't the best idea I've ever had, it's full of weird pedophiles and talking pugs. The only normal person I work with is the Hippo with a Hernia, but I'm not quite sure why they call her that, she's a pretty sexy lady."

...
A group of Peacocks in suits and fidget spinners appeared from a large hole in the ceiling.
"THEY'RE INSIDE!" Mr Dad yelled.
"Oh snap! I knew I should've fixed that last week.." Maggie told himself, picking up his rolls and tying them around his waist like a jacket. He got into a battle stance.
"Hello Alexander Dad, we wish to speak to you about legal matters, such as a possible deal that would allow you to sell this building to us" the head peacock said, his hand behind his back, he stood majestically.
"...what if I showed you my dick?" Mr Dad proposed, knowing he's really bad at negotiating.
"No sir, let's take this to discussion room" The female peacock said.
"Gosh darn" Hippo with a Hernia mumbled.

In the mean time, Will and Sasha were seated in the car. Willrum flicked through songs on the radio, and Sasha tried fitting ten 'hula hoops' crisps on her long nails, steering the wheel with her feet.
"By the way, Will, if my family asks how old you are, say you're thirty" Sasha instructed him.
"Why?" He asked, turning to face her.
Suddenly spamming the breaks and pushing the two of them forward, Sasha stopped the car.
"Oh look, its the airport" She cut him off.

They had finally arrived at the cheap airport, covered in dirt, grime and made of bricks from almost a hundred years ago, the establishment gave off a sketchy vibe.
Without even needing to go through airport security, the two Saskia workers boarded the plane. Originally planning to sit together, it turned out that Sasha's enormous thunder thighs took up at least two seats, forcing Will to sit next to a small Indian child at the back.

Eventually the plane had took off, mid flight the child had vomited all over Willrum, causing him to lock himself in the bathroom.
The pilots soon noticed a weird phenomenon, the plan was slanted forward, perhaps due to the extra weight from Sasha's legs.
Just as it steered out of America's borders, the plane was quickly shot down; it crash-landed into the orange fields of Mexico.

Few survived the event, the Indian child was incinerated. Sasha's legs provided enough protection for her to come out of the plane unharmed. She knocked down the bathroom door and grabbed Will by the hand, easily dragging his anorexic body out of the stall.

"What the hell happened?" He asked in horror.
"Plane landed, just not in Hawaii" Sasha told him, walking him down the broken wings of their transport and onto the grounds of America's neighbouring nation.

"WHAT? Well, what do we do now??" Willrum panicked, ripping his hair from his scalp.
"Calm down you pufter. All we have to do is sneak back into America and board another plane-" Sasha told him.
"We need to call for help!" Will interrupted her and started texting his mom on his brand new iPhone.

Sasha slapped the device out of his hand, making it fall in a dirty ditch.
"What the fuck??" Will screamed.
"If you call home, Mr Dad will know you're skipping work and you don't want that" Sasha told him.
"Oh yeah, that's true" Willrum pondered, he slid down the mud and into the ditch to retrieve his phone.

He finally found it, lying completely covered in the thick brown substance.
"Disgusting" Will exclaimed as he picked it up, only using his thumb and index finger.
Sasha slid down after him, her legs acting as a sledge.
"Does it still work?" She asked, hoping she won't have to pay for a replacement.
"Yeah, thanks for that, Sasha" Will replied sarcastically.
"No problem dude." Sasha winked at him, giving him a thumbs up.
"The only problem is, how will I help my mom look for her earring now if we're stranded in the middle of no where?"

"That was the reason we needed to urgently go to Hawaii??!" Will exclaimed raising his voice.
Sasha nodded, appearing serious.

"Sasha? No, it can't be..." A raspy yet elderly voice called out from outside the ditch.
"...GRANNY?" Sasha gasped, her cold face frozen with shock as she looked at the figure hovering above the two.
"It is you!" The elderly peacock cheered.
"Wait, Sasha if that's your grandma, why is she a bird?" Willrum asked, entirely bewildered by this situation.
"It's called a peacock Will, you stupid dickhead." Sasha looked to her co-worker.

The two Saskia employees followed the elderly woman-peacock to an abandoned looking airplane. The plane looked extremely similar to the one Will and Sasha boarded a few hours earlier.

Meanwhile, Mr Dad, Maggie and Hippo with a Hernia were seated uncomfortably in the discussion room.
Maggie started softly crying and wiping his snot-mixed-tears in his rolls, he hated being away from the 'over there' corner and the only reason he hadn't tried strangling himself yet was because he was in a 10 foot radius of an attractive woman (Hippo with a Hernia).

"So, Mr Dad, you see this plan would ensure success for you, no matter what way you look at it!" The head peacock insisted. His name tag said 'Ronald'.
"Listen Ronald, unlike you bird-brains at the Fruit Shoot Company, we are actually loyal to our firm!" Mr Dad declared, unaware that Maggie and Hippo with a Hernia were already signing the contracts, agreeing to transfer the rights of the Saskia Water Factory to their rivals.
"Maggie!" Mr Dad smacked Maggie across the face, luckily for him, his countless layers of fat acted as a shield and he felt nothing.

"Look boss, our company is doing shit anyway, we have no other alternative!" Hippo with a Hernia tried reasoning with him.
Mr Dad attempted to think of something to combat her statement but his mind was blank. His facial expression brooded and he picked up a pen.

Ronald and the peacocks grinned. Their feathers stood straight and their suits sparkled. Hell fire reflected in their beady eyes.

Suddenly, a large unidentified flying object emerged into the scene.
It was Sasha's grandmothers plane, an army of Mexican peacocks stood by the door.
Shooting out Tacos, Burritos and countless other foreign foods at the suited opponents, they eventually backed them into a corner and ended up destroying the building...

"Dear Diary,
My accidental trip to Mexico ended up saving the entire Saskia Water Factory.
Good? No.
Mr? Dad.
Hotel? Trevargo"