I’ve always wondered how, in the past, I have been ready to die, but in present time I am not.
To be or not to be... that is the question. Or so Shakespeare said. And in those small moments when I decide that I could be dead and leave no strings untied, I know that it is now or never. I know the moment will fade. So now I stand here, on the edge of death, thinking back to all my greatest and worst moments. I think of the laughs and the friends and the people in my life, comparing it to the tears and the hatred and the anger. And I weigh them. There is only so much I can do... no one would blame me if I just gave up now and I would go down a hero.
However.
There is one moment that I can not find a happy moment for. One little part of my life that I have no good memory to counteract with. If there’s anything I’ve learned, it is that one of the keys to life is balance. I cannot die now. It is not one of the moments in my life where there are no strings untied.
I have to finish this... just the way I started it.