IT'S COMPLICATED

He said....

- Not an actual chapter-
He said that he cared, but I know that he doesn't. He only said it because he wants to be nice, but I know that he is not.

He asked me if I was okay and I told him that I was, but I know that I'm not. I only said it because I know that he doesn't care.

He said that if I need someone to talk to that he will be there, but I know that he will not be because he doesn't care.

I want him to care because I want someone to be there to listen to me. I want someone that will listen and won't judge, but I know that he can't be that person because he doesn't care.

He said he was my friend, but I know that I'm not and that he was just saying it because he didn't want me to feel bad.

He said all this things, but I know there are a lie because I don't even know him, I don't even talk to him, I don't even listen to him.

But then, if this is true then why am I falling for him?

Why do I feel nervous when I'm close to him?

Why do I feel butterflies in my stomach when he talks to me?

Why do I care of what he thinks of me?

Why was I feeling things that I shouldn't be feeling?

Why am I letting him get to me?

Why am I falling in love with him?

I wish I knew but I don't. I know that I should be drifting away from him, but I can't.

And you know what is the worst part?

That he doesn't even notice.

I want him to know. I want him to notice. I want to tell him all this things, but I know that he will never find out because I won't let him. Because I won't tell him.

I'm going to find a way out of this. I'm going to fall out of love. And I know that the day that that happens I'm going to be happy because I know that he will not care, but so won't I.

And when that day does comes, I'm going to be smiling because I won't longer care of what
he said.