with every beat of my heart √ h.s.

crave

who was i to deny my sweet genevieve a jar of pickles and a milkshake at the fine hour of nine in the evening? if she had wanted fresh crepes from the parisian cafe we visited every morning of our honeymoon i would have booked us tickets for a flight to paris.

she was munching on the sour food i never found appetizing while we laid in bed watching the television. i heard her crunching over the volume from the mounted screen and chuckled. she turned toward me with a questioning glance as to why i was laughing when the topic of the movie was a family experiencing a terrifying haunting in their new home. "if a ghost flew into our room right now, would you be laughing? if your answer is yes, i'm not sure we're on the same page here, harry." she had one hand on her growing belly and the other was grasping her chocolate milkshake that replaced her eaten pickle.

she was six months along and had a small enough bump to where she could still see her toes, but she had to swap her regular clothes for maternity wear. she sure made elastic waisted jeans stylish. "you're just so loud crunching pickles and slurping your milkshake." she narrowed her eyes at me and slurped the thick chocolate substance through the straw even louder before bursting into a disruptive laughter.

i couldn't help but join her in the fits of laughter and soon enough my cheeks hurt and she was clutching the underside of her bump. there wasn't a major reason as to why we were lost in this outburst. i suppose we were just tired, or maybe just extremely happy. whatever it was, it made genevieve laugh so hard she had to run to the bathroom to empty her bladder. i could still hear her giggling up a storm from my spot on the bed, and i just felt my dumb heart swell.

i didn't realize it, but within the fairly short amount of time that genevieve was in the bathroom, i had fallen asleep. she came back and tossed a pillow against my face, startling me into awareness. "don't sleep yet! the movie's still on and i don't want to watch it alone." she hated scary movies so much she loved them. evie was a big chicken and refused to watch them alone, or in the complete darkness, but that didn't stop her from forcing me to watch them with her.

she settled back into bed, and she seemed comfortable, just like i was before she shocked me back to life from my short lived slumber. obviously i couldn't let her get away with that, so i pulled her body closer to mine, my arms around her frame and clinging like she provided me with life; because in a way, she did. she groaned as i dragged her across the sheets, but didn't fight me and molded herself into my side.

i kissed her forehead and cheeks, then her nose and temples, then her jaw and lips. she scrunched her face up with a faint smile she was trying to fight off. "you're a rotten little shit for waking me from my peaceful rest." her hand swatted my chest, and i saw her muddy, brown eyes sparkle from the lights of the television.

she nuzzled herself closer, which didn't seem possible before, but she proved me wrong. "i'm sorry, harry. i love you, so am i forgiven?" i could hear the smile in her teasing words, so i rolled my eyes at her playfulness at eleven in the evening.

i tightened my hold around evie and felt her melt into my embrace. "genevieve, you're forgiven for any wrongdoing you have yet to commit." at this point we weren't watching a single second of the movie, or maybe she was, but i sure as hell wasn't.

every night, evie would complain about her back being sore after being on her feet for hours at a time working. as she got bigger, i imagined her pain increased. i would have her lay on her side while i dug my fingers into the tight muscles beneath her soft flesh. that seemed to make her fall asleep, and without that routine she wasn't able to fall into the arms of slumber. one afternoon, when she had a day to stay home, i was at work receiving photos of my wife with her hand on her belly and smiling into the mirror telling me she had no view of her toes. she was so happy about that.

we were taking a shower and she asked me to shave her legs for her. she found it difficult to maneuver with a baby in the way, and gave me pleading eyes which i couldn't help but fall for. i was so worried to nick her skin and gently moved the razor along her skin. after finishing one leg successfully, i placed a kiss to her thigh and began the other with the same amount of caution. i would glance up and see her eyes on me with absolute trust in them.

soon, genevieve was nearing her due date, and the baby was beginning to shift into position. the orange paint covered the walls of their soon to be room with white furniture and playful decorations. we were ready for that little creation any day.

i just don't think either of us were ready for how that day came.