You Belong With Me

Chapter 1 - Old Open Wounds

Christian's P.O.V.

I didn't sound like myself anymore. I felt like I was lost in my bloody head. I was a wanderer in my own wonderland. I was laying on my bed and was staring at the plain white blank ceiling I got.

Well, you know me right? Don't you?

That highschool bad boy who made girls weak in their knees, the hottest basketball captain and that bad boy who fell in love. The one whose love story was the most talked about issue in the whole junior year. Well, if you still didn't recall yet, I was the high school golden boy who is six feet tall with lean muscles, golden-brown hairs and my ocean blue eyes with my creamy complexion. To be honest, that was the straightest description of mine, which I could think of.

I stood up and paced around the room. Picking up my guitar, I drove the strings towards an old tune. I was almost near perfection of my work when it tore apart. The strings of my guitar went haywire often those days. I struggled a little to put it back together but no matter how hard I try, there would always be that knot of forced patch up. It was a lovely day in summer. I looked out of the window to see lively plants with joyful green leaves. They enjoy sunshine much more than we humans do, I guess. Some birds were chirping now and then. I stared blankly and took a deep breath. A sudden touch brought me out of my own world.

"What is it?" I asked Julia.

"I am...uh...going back. To England, in a week."

I didn't say anything except a slight nod.

"College would start in a month," she said.

"Yeah. Sure...-"

" - I mean great. Cool."

She gave a slight nod and turned back to leave the room when she said," I was thinking of visiting LA before I'm off."

"Uh, sure. The same thing was on my mind too."

I grabbed the shirt and slipped it on. I stood in front of the mirror, my eyes pinned on my chest. More precisely, I was caressing the name etched on it with my eyes. With no notice, my eyes started to glisten. I exhaled loudly. It's been a year since I heard from her. Exactly a year ago, on a summer day like this, I saw her for the last time. Everybody around me talked about her death but how am I supposed to believe that.

"I miss you, Blaire," I whispered.

My eyes landed on Julia's reflection in the mirror. An absurd silence clouded the room. I didn't speak a word and she started to leave again.

" It's been over a year Chris. A whole fucking year. Forget her. She isn't gonna come back -,"

"Shut the fuck up. You know nothing about her," I cut her off

" Sure, I don't yet I suggest to get her out of your head. It's for your own good," she said and left the room, closing the door behind her with a thud.

Well, Julia is a distant cousin of mine. She has lived almost all her life in Europe. She doesn't understand what I went through or still go through every day. For a year, I went to that same school, walked the same pavements, sat in those same classrooms, drove through all those old lanes and lived in that same fucking dorm room but just without her. That gap, that interspace ate me up every day. Although I was surrounded by people, my friends, I have always felt isolated. Nothing could ever fill that hollowness. No matter what I did, she was always there and that made me sicker. As if she had her touch in everything.

When I played basketball, I could hear her cheering. Whenever I played the guitar, I could hear her humming and whenever I studied I'd always recall her saying, "Shakespear is no joke, Chris. It's as important as math..." To be honest, she never left me. She was there in my coffee habits, my closet, my music to my McDonald's meal. I could see her face, every time I closed my eyes and her smell stormed through my nostrils every time I inhaled. It left me bewildered sometimes when I thought how changed I was as a person. It's like I have come a long way yet I was standing at that same old spot, waiting for her. I had a few hoodies which I have never worn since she left because it had her smell. Her intoxicating fragrance that always cleansed me inside out. I was afraid that I may lose the last thing that I was left with.

I have realised a lot. I have discovered myself, rebuild and renovated myself. I realised how life never stops for anyone. When the news of her death came, there was a shadow of gloom in and around the school, the campus. Memorials were arranged and commemoration was held. But the wheels were always on. We were continuously moving forward with our senior year. We did the classes, we played our respective sports and led a blunt senior year. It's true that in that one year, I have surprised myself a lot. Sometimes with behaviour, sometimes with grades and lastly when I got accepted in NYU by the middle of senior year. All thanks to that one person who was by my side through the whole junior year, getting me ready for SATs and making me understand the importance of ACTs and all those other exams we took together.

The next morning, we were on the road. Last time I visited LA, it was last to last February. It was Valentine's Day. I remember driving the Mustang with Blaire by my side. Love is colourless yet it can hold billions of colours within itself.

We were almost there when Julia reminded me that we need some necessary items and thus I screeched to halt in front of a general store, just a block away from my house. My life changed the moment I entered the store because in front of my eyes stood my North Pole Star. The one whose directions gave a lead to my life. I was staring at that same slim five feet eight inches frame. Her dirty blonde hair was now cut short, which ended just above her shoulder, leaving waves at the end. The new addition was a spectacle. It wasn't round neither it was oval. It was more of a round retro glass people wore in the '90s with a thin silver rimming. She looked bright and sunny in the short-sleeved lemon-yellow sundress she was wearing. Despite the glasses, I could see the happiness flicker in her eyes when she licked the ice-cream.

"Blaire," I whispered.