Backseat Drivers

Fish out of Water

"GOODBYE AMSTERDAM!" 

Aika's joyous parting hollers were swept away in the sharp breeze as she hung her head out of the open window, making sure to absorb every last possible drop of the Dutch city before they left it. The other occupants of the car were grinning, in unnaturally high spirits despite the fact that they'd found themselves obliged to return to England on account of their money shortage. 

"What was that, two, three nights? That was a decent run, eh?" Roy estimated, and Sean shared a look of amusement with him through the rearview mirror. He was driving again, having lived long enough in the sober world to assume his usual responsibilities. Truthfully, he'd missed driving, being the one at the wheel with endless roads at his disposal, the one who got to make the decisions. Drawing on this idea, as a flash of blue danced across his peripheral, he slammed down the breaks on the car, prompting alarmed noises from the others as it screeched to a halt.

"Sean!" Cindy shrieked, her hand flying to Calum's shoulder instinctively at the brief impact of the sudden break; next to her, Roy looked equally as alarmed as the car relaxed after the slammed stop.

"Steady on, Sean!" he exclaimed, but the driver looked totally in control, pulling the keys from the ignition and then grinning through the mirror.

"Tell me," he mused, leaning his hand on his chin as he glanced out of the car window suggestively. "What do you see?"

"I see a river," Cindy replied dubiously, her hand still over her thumping heart as she recovered from the jolt. 

"And what do you see on Roy's lap?" 

Calum's eyes were already lit up with amusement, having pieced it together. On Roy's lap lay a round, circular bowl - glassy and filled halfway with water, which tilted as it sat slightly skewiff. 

-

Whether by luck or Sean's telepathic abilities, the river was abundant with tiny, wriggling vermillion fish, darting about beneath the cool susurrations. Both Roy and Aika lay on the rocks, their hands outstretched into the icy water in hilarious attempts to try and grab the fleeting creatures, as Cindy and Calum looked on in amusement. Sat on the fallen log a few metres away from the cackling splashes, their hands were entwined, with gleeful expressions, whilst Sean stood smoking, a wry grin painted on his face. 

"In hindsight, Sean," Roy called, grabbing out at another elusive fish, his voice carrying over Aika's cries of laughter. "This could've worked in theory - but practically -" he swung again. "It's an absolute shit show!" 

"Patience, young one - you must connect with the elements and the fish shall come to you." 

"Fuck!" Roy shrieked as Aika tipped a cupped handful of icy river water down his back, and splashed her back in retaliation. 

"You're supposed to like stroke the fish, I swear," Calum spoke up, and Cindy buried her face in her hands, laughing with a groan at the suggestion. 

"Oh my god."

"It's true! Try it, Roy, David Attenborough's never wrong."

"I would," Roy grumbled, snatching out at another one. "But the buggers move so fast." 

Sean threw his burnt out cigarette to the ground, making a face as he started to realise the practical flaw in his plan. 

"Don't worry, Roy - we can always buy one instead."

"AH!" Roy suddenly yelled, a wave of water springing over onto the rocks in a miniature tidal wave, and splattering on the rocks as he propelled his hand through the river, batting out a speckle of red. "GOT IT!" 

"Go on, Roy!"

As Calum and Cindy cheered in encouragement, Aika jerked round, examining the writhing fish; it flopped around on the stone, and twitched at the dry breeze, away from the comfort of its habitat. She and Roy peered over, watching it - a sudden and strange pang of guilt shared between them. 

"Aw," Aika said quietly, watching the creature, her gaze softening. Roy made a conflicted noise, bending closer to look at the scarlet scales, his face twisting. 

"Should we throw it back in?" 

His reluctant question was answered with a sad sigh. 

"Yeah. Throw it back in."

Slowly, Roy cupped his hands beneath the slimy animal, bringing it up carefully as he stood.

"Roy, it's not a baby, mate, it's a fish," Calum called over, and Aika turned to address him.

"We're throwing it back in."

"Why?! He just spent ten minutes trying to grab the fucking thing."

Roy looked down at the fish that lay in his palms - a weird feeling of responsibility evoked within him as he looked at how tiny it was. 

"I feel bad." 

Cindy had her chin propped on her palm, a warm smile radiating from her in apparent understanding - contrary to Calum's confusion. Roy carefully closed his fingers, then swung back his arm and lightly tossed the fish back into the river, circles rippling from the point it dipped beneath the gentle current. He smiled, happy with himself, whereas Calum's face was a picture of bewilderment, and he looked across at Cindy, puzzled. She noticed, and burst into a musical peal of laughter, patting him supportively on the shoulder. 

"He looks so confused," she giggled, and Roy joined in, grinning at his friend's face. 

"It's called empathy, Calum."

"But it's a fish!" 

As Aika too broke into chortles, Cindy took a moment to glance smilingly at Sean, but her eyes softened as she saw him fixated on the water, his eyes glazed over in a dream-like state. That was when she realised, as the others erupted in laughter and conversation now slightly muted to her ears, that he wasn't all there yet. For some reason it hadn't quite occurred to her, or any of the others that just because the drugs were gone it didn't mean the problem was. Slowly, her eyes moved to his hand, where his index finger dug into his thumb as if to convince himself of reality. What had this stop been about - an attempt to prolong the trip a little? A reassurance to himself that he was able to control at least elements of the dream-world he was living in? Distraction?

Then Calum addressed him- called his name and his attention was back on his friends, in grins, and gusto, and his usual sarcastic energy. The switch from detachment to casual happiness was so abrupt, Cindy couldn't help but wonder how genuine his merriment was. With the glossy darkness of his gaze dissipated, it was as if he'd been laughing all along.