The Golden Gate Bridge

Help?

I have traveled 3,005.1 miles from Connecticut to San Francisco in 44 hours for one sole purpose: to end my life. I have booked in Fairmont San Francisco Hotel for four days. A list of goals was imprinted in my heart which held a masterpiece. I have planned to cross out every desire until my hopes die.

The Palace of Fine Arts surrounded the ocean created by you, and I was embraced like an island. I didn't want to drown, but you threw an anchor at my feet and I fell too hard. They were home to weddings and tourists while I was everything your parents warned you about when they told you not to walk alone in the dark.

Beaches were a luxury and covered my wounds with a blanket of waves. Gelid cubes numbed my soul case which I protected within layers of Russian dolls. Show me where my armor ends and show me where my skin begins, because I lost it all. My soul is trapped in a box-a jail everyone calls a body. Our hearts are monsters, that's why our ribs are cages; Our minds are filled with demons, that's why we have skulls; Our bones are weapons, that's why we have skins, to keep us in.

I have only silence. Silence can be broken with a single breath, yet is strong enough to drive a man insane. Every thought is a battle and every breath is a war for my death. Misery loves company and I've a body full of lonely souls to drown my pain, but they learned how to swim. People think you can drown by falling into water, but you only drown if you stay there. And I stood there for centuries with chains wearing my limbs as a straightjacket.

I learned far too young that monsters don't sleep under your bed. They scream in your head, and they screamed until they became my heartbeat. They destroyed buildings and sunsets until the world ended everyday and came back the next morning.

When the sun died every night to let their moon breathe, the disguise cracked along with rays hitting at Karl the Fog. Nightmares roamed the streets and forcefully entered entrances with the help of the Golden State Killer. Crackheads with pins and needles mixed with dog feces littered the sidewalk. Gray faces painted overworked employees and gave them coffee and whiskey as an added bonus. Meaningless pixels hypnotized brainless zombies with tech code and gigabytes. Empty shells filled with shadows tainted the cracks with black ink and feathers. Bars filled with drinks of toxic relationships bring men and women together in their uncontrollable lust.

An idiosyncratic city was trapped in a globe with their own ecosystem filled with fairy lights embellishing the stolen title of "The city that never sleeps". Moon kisses were sang by the stars that were invisible during the day. I wanted to reach for the stars and create infinite wishes so I can rewrite them, but my paper wings from broken airplanes were stolen by red balloons as devil horns for riders.

I am a daydreamer and a night thinker. They come in mist of petals hitting the wind while they caressed my cheeks. Freckles are sun kisses and dimples are angel kisses. They were killed with moles and scars until they were all over.

Everything is impossible to me now. Lighting a match with no flame. Brightening someone's day with no rays. Those things were frivolous like dust bunnies hopping in abandoned homes.

Footprints engraved their gemstones on pavements until the light guided my way to the Golden Gate Bridge; the home to lost ghosts. I spoke to nobodies of deep conversations with my mind as shallow as puddles being born in a drizzle. I learned to drown in them instead of the sea luring ships with prepossessing sirens. They stole my breath and licked them like cotton candy made from children's imagination. They killed me in the most gentle and brutal way. With impacts as hard as rock and tears as fragile as ripples. In the lost moment in destroyed history, I have fallen in love with one thousand views and skylines and hearts and minds at once.

I let the their ocean eyes consume me before I sat on the edge of the ledge. I breathed in and out and licked the star dust off my lips. The cords hanged around my limbs, begging me not to jump. But I didn't listen to them, because this was the last one on my list. I went over the railing and stepped on the pole. 

A final breath escaped until it was interrupted by you-Kevin Briggs. A beige uniform darkened by my darkest time, entered my peripheral vision. 

"Stop!"

I just smiled at your pathetic attempt and hummed an ominous tone.

"I know you must be in tremendous pain,' you said over the railing. 'If you want to talk, I'm here to listen."

I put my mask on again and looked at you with dead fish eyes. A burning gaze collided with a smile full of pain. Who will win I wonder. Will you save me in time? 

"No one understands what it's like to drown in air. No matter how much you take, you just suffocate. I feel like I can't breathe."

"Keep talking. No matter how long it will take, I'm here for you."

And just like that, you unlocked my Pandora box of secrets. My desire for suicide was erased from my wishes. You pulled me into your embrace and silence stole our words. You send me a tornado and I send you a hurricane like the weather was compared to the daily earthquakes. Help arrived in red and blue and when I leave, you will finally understand why storms are named after people.