I love you. Loved.

Friend

"I'm sorry about what happened between us. I wasn't thinking and it just happened, he was just there. I am so so sorry Regina. I can't even look at myself the same." Emma hoarsely says to me after she calmed down. I didn't respond immediately because my heart was still hurt from what happened between us. After a few minutes of silence I grabbed my glass of cider and took a few sips before deciding to finally speak up.
"That was in the past, we are in the present now. Of course I'm not gonna forget about what happened, and yes it will still hurt when I think about it, but I think it's time we move on." Emma stares at me while her eyes tear up even more. What did I say? She starts shoving food in her mouth while think tears pour down her face. WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING?!
"Move on?" Emma croaks whole her cheeks are filled with pizza.
"I mean that we, well I, should get over what happened between us. Not that we should stop hanging out. I will always need you to be in my life Emma, you were my first kiss, my first time making love, you were my first everything. I know we had many small and big bumps on the way but that won't change how I feel. Emma, you will always have a place in my heart no matter what happens. Even though I have a girlfriend, well I think I do, we can still be friends."
"Wait, what do you mean you think you do?" I just stare at Emma when she asks me that question. It sounds so easy for me to respond to the question in my head, but in reality I can't. I don't know why it's so hard, it shouldn't be. I mean she is my girlfriend, but it doesn't feel like it anymore. I sort of feel like a side piece.
"I'm sorry she ummm... yea she's my girlfriend, but I would like for us, me and you, to be friends." I really hope Emma just leaves it alone and agrees. As she looks up to meet my eyes all I see is curiosity and hope shining on her face. As her thin pink lips curl into a small smile I can't help thinking about the last time we kissed.
Flashback 3 months ago
"Ginaaaaaaaa" is being sung in the air as I walk inside my home after a long, hard day at work. As I slip my shoes off Emma comes up behind me and takes my purse and peacoat off. I feel a blind fold being slipped over my eyes and I can't help but wonder what's going on.
"Babe what are you doing?" I whisper to Emma. She doesn't say anything, just grabs my hands and leads my to the living room. The farther e walk all I can smell is apples and cinnamon. My favorite.
"It's a step be careful" Emma warns me as we enter the living room. It feels...warmer? As Emma pulls the blindfold off I'm shocked with what I see. Candles everywhere. Before I could look at anything else I turn around and jump in the arms of my lover.
"I love you so much"
"I love you too Regina"

Present Day
"I would love to be your friend" Emma respond with a smile and a peck to my cheek then takes a bite of pizza. Fuck, what have I gotten myself into?