Italy was out on the battlefield for some stupid ass reason and the enemy was approaching. Italy was panicking because somehow he miraculously forgot his white flags, and the enemy had now reached their sidelines. Italy's men shook in their boots as they looked to Italy for guidance, "Cap'n, what do we do?"
Italy bit his fingers, too nervous to aim for his fingernails like a lil spooky bitch. The skin had broke and blood began to trickle down his fingers as he thought of anything to get out of this situation. He suddenly got a plan and started unbuttoning his weird lookin' ass pants. "Grandpa Rome once said, "Suck-a hoe if ya get the chance or die masturbating."
All the soldiers completely understood and started doing the same. Italy bit his lip as he wiggled his tiny shitball of a dick around and started moaning Germany's name, even tho Germany is somewhere else, prob suckin his dog's dick while drinkin his whiskey down the hatch.
The enemy reached the Italian's side and saw a bunch of losers masturbating and suckin each other off. Some slipped in the mud but didn't stop cuz they bein weirdos. The enemy just said yeet and started goin at it. It went on for hours, until reinforcements came cuz the enemy was takin longer then expected. They saw that shit and was like "thats gay fam" and bombed em like America did to Japan and everyone died
