Italy sat aboard mission control's space ship, the Third Galatic War. Who knew other countries would still be so angry that there's been 7 wars? Anyway, as Italy kicked back into his hovering chair, a man busted in with a clipboard, the old fashion kind from like the 2000s or somethin.
"Sir! We've gotten news on the rivaling ships! They're coming here as we speak!"
The Italian leaned into his desk and said, "Ready the big screens."
"But, sir! There's no way that would work! It's so idiotic that we could die trying!"
"No, it's so idiotic, that it's unexpected, therefore we'll win."
"But, sir-!"
"No buts! Let the plan commence."
The man nodded and left, alerting all ships the plan.
.
The enemy ship aproached their nemesis's territory, but stopped in their tracks as they saw big screens floating above every ship, the biggest being Italy's. Italy's face appeared on it, he smiled before the cameras scanned down to his dick whereas his hand there, ready to wiggle his penis. The enemy guidelines wait, to see what this, perhaps insane, man would do. At once, all screens showed men beating their meat so fiercely that their faces became red from lack of oxygen. Every man began falling off their chairs, not stopping for a moment of beating their dicks. Some men became so aggressive their faces contorted to angry snarls and scowls as they slapped around the tiny, itty bitty, little, skinny wee wees. Italy sunk into his chair as he masturbated to Germany's hair he grabbed off of one of the world meeting chairs.
The enemy became so engrossed into watching them, that almost a decade later, everyone starved to death, died of dehydration, lack of oxygen, ect. Italy, being the main survivor, for he is immortal, drove his ship away in success of his mission.
