A sestina poem I wrote April of 2018.
It was too late. The man's life had come to a close with the use of a sinister looking knife.
It was still planted in his chest which was probably why there wasn't as much blood
As Cas thought there would be. This couldn't be the end,
Could it? Yesterday, it had seemed so far away, but now Death
Was here. Here for Dean. Cas wondered how something could be so painfully gruesome.
How could the life of his best friend, his other half, end in murder?
Dean was gone and Cas was alone. How could someone murder
Dean? He had his flaws but he certainly didn't deserve a knife
To the chest. Cas turned his eyes away from the gruesome
Scene before him. It didn't matter that there wasn't much blood,
His boyfriend had been killed. Cas never thought that their relationship would end in death.
In fact, he had thought they had more time, that the end
Wasn't so close. When he got to the end
Of the hall in their apartment building, Cas fell to his knees. He cried out in anguish at the murder
That had occurred in their - no his - apartment. Dean's death
Was tearing him apart in the same way that awful knife
Had torn apart Dean's chest, leaving blood
All over the carpet in a manner most gruesome.
Cas always thought that their lives would come to a close peacefully. Instead, it was gruesome.
"How could you do this to me? Why -" his shouts to the heavens were brought to an end
By a terrible sob racking through his body. When he closed his eyes, all he could see was blood.
So much blood. "Sir, are you alright?" an officer asked. How could he be? Murder!
Dean's life had ended in murder and Cas' heart had been shattered with that knife.
There were two casualties that day. Cas may not have been killed, but he met his death
All the same. Cas vowed that the killer would pay for his death.
For weeks afterward, every time Cas closed his eyes, he would see the gruesome
Scene he had met that day. He hardly slept, working constantly to find the owner of that knife,
The awful person responsible for the abrupt end
To Dean's existence. They happened every day but this murder
Was momentous to Cas. "Family don't end in blood"
Dean used to say, but for Cas, blood
Was the only thing left. Eventually, they found the man who had caused Dean's death.
Cas got little relief from it. "The person who committed his murder
Is gone" Dean's brother, Sam, said. But that didn't stop the gruesome
Nightmares that Cas had. They showed over and over how the end
Might have come for Dean. How much it might have hurt when that knife
Was plunged into his chest. Every time there was a murder on the news and Cas saw the blood
at those scenes, he would picture the knife that killed Dean and be reminded of his death.
He never stopped wondering why the death was that gruesome or why it all had to end.
