Irreplaceable

21

It was certain now. As I stared at the screen in front of me with my end of year marks, my eyes filled with tears. Who was home? Who could I go to? I got up in a daze and wandered downstairs through the empty house. Dad's office was closed and I couldn't hear any noise coming from the living room. They must be out still.

Just as I thought that, I heard the sound of a car in the driveway. I ran over to the front door and flung it open. It was Greg's car pulling in, but more importantly I saw Nathan walking on the sidewalk with a bag from the store down the road. It was like my feet carried me on instinct as I ran down the front walk to the house. His eyes widened in shock as I wrapped both arms around his waist and gave him a big hug.

"Nate! You won't believe what I just did! I passed English. I did it all by myself. You told me I wasn't stupid and you were right. I got an 88 per cent on my exam and I passed!" I rushed out excitedly into his chest. I felt a clearing of throat and an awkward pat on my back and felt a sudden chill of realisation of what I was doing.

"Ah, that's great Brad. Good for you." He said as I pulled away with a blush.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to... shit. Uh." I fumbled and blushed, refusing to meet his gaze in fear. What was I doing!?

"No it's okay. Congratulations man." His voice sounded so deep and husky that I felt it soothe my tattered nerves. I swung my arms like a kid, kind of wishing I was still hugging him or something. I looked over to him and he had a raised brow with that look, you know the one. The one that said nothing and everything all at the same time and was asking you what are you going to do about it.

"Thanks. Um, do you think... maybe I can... I dunno, call or something? Like for Christmas?" I stuttered and muttered, cursing at myself for the flush that wouldn't leave my face. I picked at my shirt as I waited for his answer.

"Sure. If you want." He replied. My chest felt like it had filled with helium balloons again and I bounced a little in place. I gave in to the urge to hug him forcefully again, and then ran away before he changed his mind. Yeah I know, real smooth huh? I slipped into my house and peered out the sidelight next to the door trying to watch him walk away even though it was coloured privacy glass.

"What was that about?" I heard the voice behind me and squawked as I jumped in the air in surprise. I turned around to see both Greg and Mark watching me with grins on their faces.

"Nothing? Nothing. I'm sure it was nothing." I tried to say nonchalantly. Needless to say I was failing miserably and Mark was trying to hold in a laugh. I went to put my hand on the side table and lean but missed it completely and scrambled to stand upright again.

"Uh huh. Come on mister. Fess up. Are you and Nate...?" Greg asked slyly. I gasped.

"No. No no no. I mean, yes, I guess we talked, but no. He is letting me call him over Christmas. That's good right?" I looked over nervously from the spot I was now staring at on the door. Two smiles and nods greeted me and I managed to get a smile out. Okay maybe a nervous half-smile.

"That's great Brad. I'm really happy for you." It was Mark who said this with feeling as Greg came over to give me a hug. I nodded, still feeling dazed from the last fifteen minutes of my life.

"Oh yeah. By the way... I passed English." I said faintly as we walked into the living room. Two people cried out with joy and hugged me fiercely. I felt the pats on my back and heard the congratulations with a grin permanently etched on my features.

Why did it seem such an insignificant achievement now that Nathan was talking to me again?