By Your Side - EreRi (ErenxLevi)

Chapter 8 - Damaged (Graphic!)

WARNING!!! IF YOU ARE IN ANY WAY SENSITIVE TO THE TOPIC OF SELF HARM PLEASE AVOID THIS CHAPTER! THIS CHAPTER HAS DRAMATIC AND GRAPHIC CONTENT! IT WILL CONTAIN A SENSITIVE ATTEMPT OF SUICIDE!!!

Prepare your feels I'm sorry ;-;

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Eren's POV

It was like a nightmare.

I ran I didn't even know where I was going, what I was doing. All I did know is that I was done being a burden. I can't hold him back like this. Everything the Commander said is right.

Levi was slacking in his position, Levi is committing a crime, Levi could go to prison.

And I am the cause for all of it.

I ran endlessly through the halls, hearing him scream my name and chase after me.

"Eren! Eren please!" He yelled, that deep, echoing, voice now a void of emotion bellowing through the castle halls.

I lost all comprehension of what I was doing. My body just kept running, running away. Away from Levi. Though I wanted to turn around I couldn't. I continued to run while constantly fumbling to get farther away from his screeching voice, I could hear it fading.

Where did I go? Where could I go? No matter what he was bound to find me. So I took the most obvious route, the dungeon. After all it's where I belonged.

Loud sobs erupted from my throat as I locked to door to the dungeon with the key I had managed to take days ago. Then resuming to lock myself in the cell and once again discarded the key. This time onto the floor of the cell. I knew Levi would come.

I looked over to the floor to find my long forgotten 3DMG. My face was already soaked as more salty tears trickled down my face. I bit my lip and pulled out a sharp blade from the shaft. Holding it up closely to my face I looked at my reflection in the mirrored metal.

All I saw in that reflection was a broken, damaged, burden of a monster. I knew it was all over now. Happiness never lasts. And the person who brought it to me was gone now. Everything will fall apart again and...he will be taken away from me.

"No," I whispered desperately, looking down at the blade and clutching it tighter to where it dug into my flesh.

"No," again I said it this time louder.

"NO!" Again, this time I screamed it.

I can't live in a world where I can't have Levi. Where I can be with him, or hear him, or feel him. I didn't want to be. But I know now it's over.

The crimson blood slowly dripped onto the floor as my tears dripped onto the clear blade. I looked at myself again and couldn't take it anymore, I started cackling.

I felt insane like I wasn't human...oh wait I'm not. It went from cackling to screams of insanity. I swung the blade around, laughing maniacally as it cut deeper into my palms. Then I fumbled onto the floor whilst shivering and yet still chuckling to myself with a crazed smile.

"This ends now," I said and chipped off a smaller piece of the blade.

I help the piece up to my face, twirling it around between my fingers. I grinned and brought it closer to my face. The broken tip grazed beneath my eye and I pressed it into my skin. I slid the blade all the way down from my eye to my chin. My grin held it's place on my face and I felt the warm liquid ooze from my face.