Pride

Pride. Pride.

Tony Stark had never really considered what it meant to be prideful. In a material sense, the billionaire was generally proud of the success of his company. As a philanthropist, he occasionally felt proud of the good work that his donations achieved. Extending beyond his own accomplishments, Tony was almost as proud of his fellow Avengers as he was of Pepper, the woman who made him the luckiest husband in the world. But to be proud of his intrinsic self? How does one even begin to untangle the tiny remnants of self that are worthy of pride from the mess of personal failures?

"Mister- uh, I mean, Tony!" Peter called excitedly, snapping his mentor out of his thoughts. "Look, she's, like, totally killing it in those heels!" He pointed to the stage, separated from them by about half a city block's worth of people. There, a drag queen commanded the attention of the audience, stomping along to the beat of a high-paced pop song.

If someone had told Tony Stark ten years ago that he would one day be accompanying a teenager to New York City's LGBTQ pride festival, he would have scoffed. But now, standing next to this kid and knowing how happy he was, Tony would have cancelled plans with the president to be here. Taking in the merriment of the crowd, Iron Man himself was learning that he didn't always need a suit of armor to make people feel safe; sometimes, a friend ‒an ally‒ is all a person needs.

Tony laughed then yelled over the noise, "Yeah, wanna get closer?"

As Peter started to move forward, he felt Tony's hand on his shoulder, keeping them from being separated. He still couldn't believe that his mentor had offered to go with him to the festival. Peter had been wanting to go for a couple years now, but Aunt May always had to work and Peter never built up enough courage to ask his peers, Ned or MJ, to go with him. Although his friends had known for a while and they were always supportive, his being transgender just never came up easily in conversation. He could have guessed that Tony would ask about his plans after catching a glance at the date circled in gold glitter pen in his notebook. What he wouldn't have guessed was that the older man would insist on Peter celebrating with the rest of the community. Upon arriving, Tony didn't seem to think twice before dropping money on a large pink and blue trans flag for the boy to drape around his shoulders.

Closer to the stage, the bass of the music pounded into their chests, and bodies pressed against them. It was here that Tony compared his own fashion choice to others'. He felt out-of-place in sporting an old Metallica t-shirt and dark-wash jeans while many other men wore multi-colored suspenders, knee-high socks, or neon booty shorts. A nearby young man noticed Tony's gaze as he continued to smear glitter on his shirtless torso. The man laughed, his eyes flashing brighter than the glitter in the sun, then called out, "You want some of this?" The young man walked over to Tony and offered the shiny container.

Peter's attention returned to his mentor when the young man approached. The teen exclaimed, "Yes! Here, Tony, put some in your hair!" And before Tony had the mind to stop the kid, Peter was rubbing glitter in the older man's hair, laughing, while the young man commented, "Oh, doesn't he look gorgeous?!" And although Tony knew it would take days for all the sparkle to rinse from his hair, the enthusiasm was contagious and he found himself laughing and tossing a fistful of glitter at Peter.

Before long, sponsors were packing up their tables as the festivities drew to a close. Back at Peter's apartment, they ordered pizza, and Peter recounted his favorite moments. The teen suggested, "I think Spider-Man should have a mode for shooting glitter, like a special setting just for homophobes and transphobes, ya know? That would be funny."

As always, it made Tony laugh, and he playfully agreed, "I'll get right on that program."

They continued to share stories, and Peter thumbed through the photos on his phone until the leftover pizza was cold and the sun had set. Just before Tony left, Peter thanked him once again. "I know this probably isn't how you wanted to spend your day. You really didn't have to, but you came anyway. It means a lot." Then, looking down, he added, "You're the best mentor anyone could ever ask for."

Throughout his life, Tony had experienced varying levels of pride within himself. No, he wasn't proud of the work that Stark Industries used to do, and he wasn't too proud of his record of alcoholism and one-night stands. Now, having struggled to change his life into something worth living, his own tremendously high expectations prevented him from being proud of just about anything. In his new line of work, an Avenger didn't think of the lives they had saved without also thinking of the lives that were lost. At home, he was no longer an alcoholic, but he was still beaten down every day with depression and anxiety. It was a strange combination, perfectionism and depression. Some days, he could hardly get out of bed even as the thoughts of his long to-do list ran through his head over and over. On most of these days, he ended up doing nothing at all. These things made it difficult to practice self-love.

After today, Tony realized that "pride" could have a different meaning. As he learned from his young transgender friend, pride was less about being satisfied with his own accomplishments and more about being satisfied with who he was as a person. And whether or not Tony believed it, Peter seemed to think that he was the best role model ever. For now, that was good enough for Tony. If this pure-hearted, intelligent, brave kid thought he was the best, then how bad could he be?