Overdose *Mattord*

Chapter Eleven

I rested my chin on my folded arms.
Fuck.
This close.
This close..
For a second time.
Maybe the gods are saying it's just not ment to be..
It's probably for the best.
I don't exactly deserve him.
I never have.
I always hurt him, or break promises, or..
I just..

"Tord?"
The ginger's lovely voice snapped me out of my thoughts.
"Are you ok?" He asked softly, his violet eyes taking my very soul.
He always did have those dazzling orbs, but somehow they seem to have a bit less glow to them than before.
Before I..
"Ya, I'm fine." I answered, gritting my teeth through the lie.
Why did I even bring him here?
Foolish.
Matt looked at me with concern.
"How about we take a walk?" He offered, leaning in a little,
"It is awfully pretty around here, why don't you show me around." He tried again when I didn't bite the first time.
I sighed.
I didn't want to go out.
I just want to mope about and feel sorry for myself.
I just want to be left alone like before.

"Sure."

Matt squeaked in excitement.
Geez, that dork.
I sighed again, letting a small smile fall on my lips as I got off the couch and led him through the base again.
God, why does he make me feel this way?
Happy.
I don't deserve to be happy.
I should just go back to when I ran my army and ignored their very existance.
Right after I moved to-

"Hey, how was the big city?"
The ginger asked.
I tensed for a moment, afraid I had spilled some of that outloud.
The violet eyed boy must have noticed my panic-stricken look, cause he seemed to grow more concerned and clarified,
"Like, you work in a base, how did you get from the city to here?"
I relaxed a bit, letting out the air that I didn't even realize I was holding in, "When I got to the city I searched for a job. I'm not sure how the word got to my uncle that I was even looking, but he called me. He offered me a place as his right hand man in his secret army, not over phone of course. We met up somewhere quiet to discuss this, and I agreed.
I worked well in the job I was assigned. At least, that's what he said.
He passed away a little over a year ago, leaving me in charge. I've done my best to keep things together, but the other red army bases are starting to grow quiet and I fear rebellion or a ghosting enemy." I explained slowly, looking forward, hearing a little 'Oh' escape his lips.
"I'm sorry about your uncle.." he spoke softly, putting a soft hand on my shoulder.
"It's alright, I'm just worried this place is gonna fall apart." I frowned looking around.
"I think it'll be fine. I believe that you can handle it!" He grinned, flexing his arms as if he was trying to impress me. Of course, this cute little stick figure doesn't have any muscle to speak of, but it was still very cute.
I laughed a bit, making him laugh with me.
He blushed and looked at his feet as we walked, a shy smile on his face.
I looked at him fondly, enjoying his countenance.
My, he is mighty lovely.
How is a boy so beautiful?

We both flinched when Patrick shouted my name, running over,
"Sir, we have a-"
He looked at Matt, who tilted his head.
"Can we go somewhere private?" Pat asked me, looking exhausted.
I nodded before looking at Matt,
"How about you explore the base? I'll find you when I am done."
He gave me a sad look, but begrudgingly nodded and wandered off.
I turned to my Right hand man, "What's the issue?"
The other took a moment to catch his breath.
I guess he had been running.
"The northern base has been completely destroyed." He groaned, looking at me.
I could see fear in his eyes.
"Do we know who did it?" I asked in a cool tone, trying to keep him calm.
"No. No trace. But no one survived. The entire base was collapsed. I don't think anyone saw it coming.
I'm.." he paused, looking down.
"I'm afraid."
I placed a hand on his shoulder, "It's alright, Pat. We'll figure this out."
"But what If we figure it out too late?" He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, tightly closing his eyes.
I sat quiet for a moment, deciding whether or not I should reassure him or give him an honest answer to his question.
"Then we'll pay for our sins. But I won't let that happen anytime soon." I answered, combining assurance and honesty.
Patrick stared at me long and hard, thinking I suppose.
He nodded slowly, silently walking away.
I stood there by myself for a moment then went on my way too.
I hope I can keep that promise.
I can't let them die.
They're too important to me.
Now then,
where did that cute ginger go?