worth | changlix

eight.

(i don't like this chapter)

( ⚠️ trigger warning | self harm ⚠️)

the day went by fast, as it usually does. felix wasn't surprised at this point. he was heading to his locker as he saw changbin in the hallway. felix smiled and said hi but changbin just walked by. he remembered what chan said and shrugged it off.

felix learned later that day, maybe chan was telling the truth. they only talked once, but that didn't mean changbin should just ignore felix. felix probably wasn't important to him anyway though, so it didn't matter that much.

felix thought changbin was a super nice person. they didn't know anything about eachother but he wanted to be closer with him. was he overthinking again?

the school day ended quick. felix got home as fast as he could. his dad wasn't home. felix didn't care as to what happened to his dad at this point. his dad didn't support him for being gay, which is why his dad, and a few of his friends from school are the only people who knew. felix was afraid of not being accepted just because his dad had ruined it all for him. he got outed at his old school by his 'friend.' everyone was homophobic. felix couldn't trust anybody.

felix went upstairs to his bedroom. he sat on his bed and pulled out his phone.

1 new message!

minho:
fuck you.

minho:
you moved on that fast?
i thought i would've hurt you
more than that but i guess i
didn't do good enough.

felix:
what the fuck are you talking about

minho:
changbin. whore.

felix:
changbin doesn't like me.

minho:
whore.

felix threw his phone. he laid down on his bed. was this really the guy he was dating for only a few days? god.

felix got up and went into the bathroom. he didn't want to do this but he couldn't stop himself anymore.

(⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️)

(do not read if triggered by self harm)

(if you are, go to the other ⚠️ and skip this part of the ff please)

he hadn't touched a razor blade in a long time. he opened the package and grabbed one. he started crying. was he doing this because of minho? or because he wasn't good enough?

he rolled up his sleeve, revealing many scars from the past. none of them were recent. felix was clean.

was.

he put the razor blade against his wrist and watched the blood drip. he wasn't used to the pain as he hadn't done it in so long. "fuck." he stopped.

the doorbell rang. "fuck fuck fuck." he said, cleaning his cut as quickly as he could. it stung. he put a bandage over it and rolled his sleeve back down, hoping the person was still at the door.

(⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️)

(trigger warning done???)

felix opened the door to see chan. "felix!!" he said. chan usually just let himself in which is why felix was confused. "is your dad home?" chan asked. "no. he hasn't been for a few days." felix signalled for chan to come inside.

they went into the living room. chan sat right beside felix as he always does. felix didn't mind it. "how have you been?" felix looked at him. "i've been fine..." he looked down. "i thought minho liked me." he shook his head. i guess not though. "felix.." chan sighed. "we need to get you out of this house." he stood up. "what?" chan pulled felixs arm so he would get up too. felix groaned as it hurt his wrist. "come on."

they went outside and got into chans car. "i have an idea."

-

short chapter lol sorry i am so confused as to what i'm doing here

i have so many chapters as drafts literally it's october 27th as i'm writing this but i have a draft from exactly a month ago today smh i'm so BEHIND and my writing skills are just bad

i really want a piano

ok bye 💓💓💓💓