Letters for Luke? || hemmings fanfic ||

Letters For Luke?

Send.

That was the fifth message I had sent that was once again, ignored. I've been trying to have a simple conversation with my boyfriend Caleb. Our relationship is sort of complicated. Did I say sort of? It's extremely complicated.

So, let me start by saying that my name is Ella. I'm 19 and a attend NYU. I live in New York and my boyfriend Caleb lives in Sydney, Australia. See? Complication.

Well, we met when my family and went there as a vacation last summer. I spent a month there and Caleb and I had grown really close. He took me to places all over the city and we may or may not have kissed at a few major landmarks in Australia. Anyways, he was extremely sweet and I had developed feelings for him very quickly. He asked me to be his girlfriend the last night I stayed in Sydney. We skyped daily and visited each other any time we could.

That was a year ago. Now he barely replies to my text messages. I want to be angry with him but whenever we do talk, even if it's only for a few minutes, I just want him to tell me about his day and have him ask about mine. I just want him to miss me the way I miss him.

Right now, its 3:00 am, so its 5:00 pm in Sydney. While waiting to hear something- anything- from Caleb I decide to try and occupy myself. My room is pretty basic, white walls, a white comforter, band posters on the wall, and lots of candles. I share the whole apartment with my best friend Sam who happens to be away to visit her family in Louisiana. It sucks when she isn't here because then I have no one to complain to about Caleb. I tend to get emotional when I'm alone.

I press play on my Spotify playlist and Girls by The 1975 starts playing. I then try to think of some way to reconnect with Caleb. I, being the hopeless romantic that I am, think back to some of the greatest romance movies I can think of. The Titanic (my personal favorite), Breakfast at Tiffany's, Love Actually, The Notebook- wait, that's it.

"Why didn't I think of that sooner?" I basically shouted to myself. Hopefully I wouldn't have to write 365 letters for Caleb, but maybe one will recreate some sparks. I grab some paper and a pencil and begin, the words coming to me so fast.

I start off by explaining how much I miss him (cheesy, I know), then I go into how I've been feeling distant. I quickly end that topic though. I don't really want to make anything worse between us and I rather spare him from reading about me being upset and clingy and annoying. I then decide to write about some of our happiest times together, which then makes me feel a little worse.

By this time I'm too far into this letter to stop. I pull out a shoebox from the top of my closet and open it. It contains pictures and notes and small knick knacks from me and Caleb's relationship. As soon as I begin to dig through the box, I Don't Want to Miss a Thing by Aerosmith starts playing from my laptop. Here come the waterworks, I think to myself.

I let a few tears slip from my eyes, but I succeed at holding most of them back. That is, until I pull out a picture of Caleb and I from last summer. We were in some random park that I don't remember the name of. I had one hand holding my phone to take the picture, the other wrapped around his neck holding him close to me. I'm smiling a huge cheesy smile showing off my straight teeth. My long brown is hair falling down my left shoulder, my green eyes shut tightly. Caleb's blonde curly hair rests perfectly on his head, his big blue eyes looking at me. He's laughing at my ridiculous face with his beautiful smile. I love this picture of Caleb more than anything because you can see how happy he is just to be with me. At least that was how it used to be.

By the time I add this and a few other pictures into the envelope, I'm full on bawling. I figure I just need to let it all out; at least that's what Sam tells me when I cry. So I attempt to stop the tears (but it doesn't really work) while I grab the ice cream from the freezer and bring it back into my room.

I sit on my bed and I'm about to put in a movie when I realize my music is still on. I pick up my laptop and go onto spotify. Just as I'm about to turn it off I decide instead to click on my sad playlist. This Is Gospel by Panic! At the Disco starts to play and I let all the tears fall fast. By the time the next song, Baby Blue Eyes by A Rocket to the Moon, plays the tears don't slow down at all.

"Caleb has b-blue eyes," I sob staring at a poster of Alex Gaskarth. "Great I'm talking to a poster of a band member thinking he'll answer. Jesus now I'm talking to myself. I hate boys."

Suddenly, while on my second pint of ice cream and after I've talked to every member from every band hanging on my wall, I heard the door to our apartment open and shut. I pulled my comforter higher as if it'll keep me safe from whoever is in my apartment. A knock at my bedroom door causes me to jump of my bed screaming, but I still have my ice cream obviously.

"Ells?" Sam comes into my room hysterically laughing at me balled up on the floor.

"Sam! That's not funny I thought you were a murderer or something. You scared me!" She reached out a hand helping me up and giving me a huge hug. Thank God she was home.

"Good thing I wasn't a murderer, you would've died so easily. You screamed!" She said still amused. I just rolled my eyes and took a seat back at my previous spot on the bed. Sam took a seat next to me finally taking him her surroundings. "Ice cream? Your sad playlist? What happened while I was gone Ells?"

"He still hasn't called Sam. It's been 5 days. That's the longest it's been! He usually texts, or emails, or at least tweets me or something and-"

"Whoa, slow down," she cut off my rambling. "You know Caleb, that's how he is okay?" she said attempting to comfort me. She only says nice things (if you even consider that nice) about Caleb when I'm crying. She doesn't exactly like him- at all. According to her he's "bad for me" and I've been "constantly sulking around for the past 8 months."

"I guess," I said not really wanting o get into an argument about it again. We hardly ever fight unless it has something to do with Caleb. Luckily none of our fights have ever been too bad. Sam hugs me goodnight and heads to bed since she's still tired from her flight.

By now its 5:47 am so I guess I should get to sleep. It's not like Caleb's going to call or anything. I pick everything up and turn off the lights climbing into bed. I fall asleep pretty fast, but not before telling Alex goodnight.