Dark Desires for Power

Prologue

What I  imagined my life to be seemed much more different from what I had hoped for.  After a long time a dream eventually became a nightmare, difficult to live in with a lot of pain and many nights accompanied by tears.

Life disliked me, I am definitely certain of it. Why life made it hard for me was a good question which I didn't know the answer to - with lingering hopes that I eventually would with certainty. What  I am certain of though was the calamity I was going to meet in my life. I had always felt some lingering doubts and fear, trying to smear away all my clear conscience. 

Cultivation and a skilled one at that were a dream for the common and the wealthy people. Which they yearned for eternally equally. My Battle Qi however wasn't overly strong to begin with. At age 8 I finally reached the One-Star. Getting mocked by cultivators my age with a minimum of Three-Star-Practitioner level.

Why mine ranked so low was recognized easily. My family was one of the weakest originally. Bearing a powerful offspring seemed even more insane in those regards. 

Being a sect with many members of low cultivation naturally didn't guarantee a high chance of success. 

Now to the present:

I sat on the floor with tears in my eyes. What I had tried to grab had gone, disappeared. Slipping through my fingers. Just a split second and all had gone to vein. all I could grasp on was the god-damn thin air. My shoulders sunk and tears began to fill my eyes to the brim until a stream ran down my cheeks. 

I cussed out loud:"My goddamn family! Why can't I even grasp and follow my own dreams when others can without having any problem mastering their Qi while I'm stuck in this place and getting looked down upon endlessly for my weak cultivation!".

I cried rivers and didn't even realize my father coming in with my little sister. What they saw definitely must have broken their hearts. The once so proud eldest daughter being in such a miserable state.
I however just rushed out pushing my father aside. Stopping at my father's beloved collection of wine. I didn't realize how much I had grabbed on a drunk.
The only thing I remember next was my father punishing me with along and severe beating. My mother had collapsed to the ground due to the distress of me getting beaten up while my sister screamed for a doctor. In all this chaos I kept on feeling the impact of the wood.  What hurt  me and tore me apart on the inside were my fathers words. His burning gaze, the harsh words and the one sentence I will remember forever. 

"As you can't follow my rules and don't even listen to me, you are free to look for a new family! You ungrateful bastard, how did I even raise a child like you! You are gone by dawn or else I will send my best man to kill you right away! You know them very well too! Move out of the way -  trash like you who can't even redeem themselves aren't welcome here and dirty this household in the public eye!".

Beaten up and with an aching body, I instantly packed up a  little bag with food, clothing and other essentials. For one last time I left the house and looked back which I realized to be a grand mistake. Guilt and fear came rushing in when I saw my little sister throwing herself around in my fathers arms. Trying to get to me, to hug me, to put ointment on the wounds to prevent infections. Tears streamed down her face while she begged my father to let her go, to go to me.

"Let me go! I will go with her! She can't leave, she promised to stay with me forever."

I only said a few words in hopes maybe making her proud in the future.

"My Xiao Ling, please stay and stay strong for me as I apparently couldn't. Make your big sister proud and be a good girl.  I will come back for you one day. I will keep my promise to you and become one of the best cultivators to exist. Like I swore to you when we slept huddled together. I will only be gone for a short time."  

Tears welled up in my eyes but I still showed a big smile with my usual playful wink. Then I turned around and left. Many bypassers looked at me with a pitiful expression in their eyes. Some even gossiping about how unfortunate my father must been with an unfilial daughter.  Yeah, I know I looked pathetic. Blue and purple beat-up face, at least one swollen eye I assume. And my bent body - seemingly elderly - to have less pain walking.

Our reputation was grand as my father could save a seat as a council president advising the emperor. Our business with silk also went well. I was supposed to own it after my father's death due to my mother passing away when I was only 4 years old.
I loved playing in the silk factory, however, on the other hand, my heart belonged to fighting and longed for it ever since I was able to think.
The promise I made to myself, I wouldn't break. Better said the promise I made towards my sister. I would avenge what my family did ignore to do or just didn't intend and dare to do. Getting all the remaining debts paid back and making up for every single crime we had endured while seeking a master to cultivate and get stronger. My lips lifted up and my back began to hurt less and less. My walking became more fluent, actually fitting my age slowly but steadily.  Soon after I started to swing my arms a bit while whistling the song my mother always sang for me when I had a hard time falling asleep, touching my hair and massaging stomach. My life would finally begin, even if I had chosen a road which would make me bleed and suffer more than I probably looked forward to.