Dark Desires for Power

Chapter 12

With a slight sadness in my heart, I walked down the corner towards the grand hall. My steps were light and silent. About the length, well they were small. The feeling of a new beginning happening to me was too overwhelming to stay on the ground.

My mind went blank at some point. The fear while not knowing what would happen made me shiver.What if I needed to bear responsibility so much that I wouldn't be able to? What if...? I had so many worries in my head. Deep in thoughts I nearly ran into my teacher. He was busy arranging scrolls and paintings. Compared to yesterday, the grand hall looked incredibly clean and tidy.

"Good morning student. Did you sleep well? Oh right how could I rudely interrupt you when you are deeply in thoughts. Let me ask again, friendlier this time. What bothers you? You seem so uneasy if I look back at how you were behaving yesterday. I couldn't sense fear or uneasyness. So how come you are today?"-"Teacher, it is just so unbelievable how I got saved at my lowest point of life. All the debts I will have to carry. You take care of me, offer me a room to live in, make me food, teach me martials arts and then there is me. Getting offered all that without a chance to pay you back."-"Dear, don't worry about that. Actually this is the minimum a teacher should do for his student. You might not know how much responsibility a teacher has for his student. He is there to prevent sickness, lonelyness, low status in public, getting laughed at, not taken for granted. Many people miss the respect you got for the role of a leading person in teaching. Prejudices of being an old drunk fool, this is what is imagined as strong and well-knowledged. To be honest many of my friends ended up like it as they lost their lovers in fights. When their life was at stake, the lover jumped in front of them and took the strong blow of inner qi for them. Sad and happened to me, but this is another story. Eat and then we can start training you."

His eyes were shining like diamonds and his smile was so heart-warming that I couldn't keep myself from smiling back at him. I sat down at a set table and picked up the chopsticks with one hand. As I was hungry I grabbed a steamed bun with my other hand and ate a big bite out of it. All I could feel was happiness. I was beaming and emitting a very positive and colourful aura. The flavor of the bun beat the rich flavor of the ones where I had lived before. A thought suddenly rushed through my mind.

I didn't call my home by home but a place I lived in. I was so foreign to it even if I lived there for long. The distance and cold treatment made me feel like I didn't belong to there. The death of my maid was a line bringing me close to the point of leaving it all behind, this cold room without a heater, without a functioning bed, without much furniture and only old and damaged. I would only miss one thing I cared for the most in the world, my younger sister. Yeah, it is true, her skills made me look bad. I wasn't jealous and angry, I felt happy for her on the other hand.