Wrecked Guardian Angel

Chapter Three - The worst things in life come free to us.

Song: Ed Sheeran; The A Team

This night, for no particular reason, I had decided to walk around the dim city and do what I haven't done in what feels like a million centuries; Be a Kid. The murky puddles were clear enough to make my reflection visible. I stood there looking at myself and what I've become since... My past really did define me. It had turned me into the person I was afraid of being and now, I couldn't go back.

A tingly feeling arose in me as a thought was placed in my mind; I wanted to jump over the puddle.    Consequently, I did and the feeling was unimaginable. However, a stranger passing by would think I was mental, but then again it's not like they would understand that this brings a smile to my heart as it reminds me of being a kid.

After, I kept walking and my footsteps were the only thing audible as the cold summer wind brushed against my skin, causing the hair on it to rise. A smile covered my face as I thought about the last time I stepped outside on a night like this.  Wow, my previous experience really has fucked up my life.

RILEY... the name crept its way into my mind and thoughts of her swirled in. She was like the perfect stranger, and every mistake seemed so right with her. It doesn't make sense to me, and it probably doesn't to you too, but that's the truth of the story. Plus, she now had a mark in my brain and everything seemed to remind me of her. The darkness especially, because "nothing can be seen in the darkness unless there's light..." Decipher the implication by yourself.

These thoughts were interrupted as I heard the sound of what I made out to be someone crying. My first instinct was that it was from a drunken woman who lost her money tonight; considering a lot of robbery goes on around here.

As I walked closer, it became more distinct, and started to sound like a child crying. There was no image or scenery for me to make out the occurrence, but this person cried like they were on the verge of breaking down.

"Who's there?" The voice rang behind me causing me to spin my head; I didn't realize I was so close.  Moreover, I couldn't make out who the figure was of, but it was definitely a girl. "I said who's there? I've got a gun, and I'm not afraid to use it." She repeated, however her words had no effect on me, seeing it had a lot of uncertainty in it.

"It's just me, my name is Sam." I exclaimed, putting my hands up in surrender. I was very well aware of the fact that she could be as dangerous as she assumes, but sometimes my lucidity goes off to have a vacation in Alaska.

"Sam, Sammy?" She cried and before I could respond she had already ran into me. Her head crashed onto my chest and I could feel her tears rolling down. I looked down to see a girl with gracious hair and furious eyes as she sobbed and sobbed. Those eyes didn't belong to any ordinary girl, it belonged to her... Riley. Yes, it was Riley, my Riley and she was breaking down right in front of me.

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT SAMMY. I HATE YOU SAMMY." She bellowed while hitting my chest and releasing all her anger on me. I held her close to my chest as she was shivering and tears were rolling down her cheeks. At this very moment, I could kill who ever put her in this situation. This girl who was so full of life seemed to have lost her determination to go on. I could tell she had been crying for a long time, when she looked up at me with her glossy eyes. Her face seemed slowly sinking, wasting. My heart dropped when she fell down to her knees and held on tight to my legs and cried with gritted teeth. I tightened my grip around her wrist and pulled her back up; holding her as close as possible to me.

"I'm sorry Sammy." She said through muffled cries and cried even more after saying it. "Shhh, it's okay." I comforted, and caressed her cheek. Her tears stained my hand, but I couldn't care less. When she had found herself again, she looked up at me with those eyes. The street light illuminating this lonely street struck her eyes and I could recognize those beautiful green eyes.

"Are you going to tell me what happened?" I asked, trying to make sense of all that just took place. "No." She said quietly and focused her gaze on the ground. She looked scared almost, like she knew I would burst out in anger if she didn't. "I'm not going to force you to." I say reassuringly, so she knows I understand her decision.

**
"I really thought that he was the one Sammy." Riley says after we walked down the street to who knows where and decided to take a seat on a sidewalk. "Why do people decide to leave our lives? Why do they come in the first place?" She adds on, giving me the impression that she just went through a break up. "I didn't even do anything wrong. Why is this all happening to me?" She says, while fighting back her tears. I want to tell her that he didn't deserve her and that she is beautiful and always have been. I want to hold her in my arms and sing a lullaby to have her drift off to sleep; but, I can't. I'm just lost at words as I watch her talk, talk and talk.

"The worst things in life come free to us." I spit out, remembering those words from one of my favorite songs. "Tell me about it." She replied. "Are you ever going to tell me what really happened?" I asked, hoping she's ready to open up.

"I don't think I ever want to open that scar up again. If you want to know so badly, just know it had something to do with love." She said looking out of place. "Ahahahaha," she laughed suddenly, "the concept love seems so stupid. Ahahaha, what do you think about it Sammy?" Whoa! She just asked the worst person to tell her about love. My love story is not a good one so I can't say anything positive about it. Either way, I try to sound like an expert on love and decide to say what my mom always told me.

"The dictionary describes it as a deep affection for someone or something. However, love is more than that, and you'll only understand it when you feel it. You'll only understand it when you find an imperfect person perfect and would go through thick or thin for them. You'll only understand it when you're on your knees begging for another chance because you messed up, but don't want to lose that person. You'll only understand it when you feel intoxicated whenever that person is around.
Love... Love is when you let all your guards down and realize that this one person makes you feel a type of way. Love is when you tolerate all the shit others do. Love is when you see them from afar, but it still melts your heart. Love is when a message or even a word from them has you on cloud 9. Love is when you get stuck in a daydream about what you wish could be.  Love is when you find that special someone who understands your part of this messed up world. And as crazy as it sounds, you understand them too and so instead of saying you understand each other, you say you love each other. Finally, Love is when you take a chance even though you know how fucked up of a person you are, you still take a chance." I finish breathless and realize that I got really into it and basically gave her a speech about my love story....

"Well, that's some bullshit." She says pulling me out of the emotional moment I put myself in. However, I couldn't help but smile at her. It didn't help when she gave me a smile back.  From all of this, I could tell a whole new definition of love was being formed and this darkness right here had just found its light.