Bleed for you

~Chapter 1~

My heart hurts every time I walk. As if i'm not supposed to be. I'm not, I know that.

"You'll be fine my boy. This is what our Gods wanted. They would not have done this to you if not." His mother instead had berated him for whining about his life being given back to him. "Now your mother can go down easy knowing her son won't be killed in some freak accident. And that she'll out live him."

"But mama... "

"No buts! My dear Antonio. Your father thought you were worth nothing and he died think that. Let me die knowing my son was chosen by the gods to do something wonderful."

"yes mama. I will." He hated having his father brought up. He was a man who'd let his family starve for nights on end and forgot to love his wife. What he'd done to Tonio himself was nothing. Absolutely nothing compared to what he'd done to his mama.

"I'll be better than my father. And I will give you the life you deserve." He said kissing her on the cheek. "Now let's start on dinner. No more of this talk." He put a smile on his face. Though inside he was breaking. His mother was trying so hard to make his heart lighter. But he knew her own was crushed. Not even his normal dancing in the kitchen could get her to smile.

After words of love had been spoken and the entire house was dark, they didn't have money to spare on wasted electricity, he laid in his bed thinking. There was nothing to stop him from doing so. Despite his unwillingness to do so.

"You fight it like you've lost a war."

"This is not end. Merely the beginning. So don't fight it."

The words they'd spoken before departing from him. One harsher than the other. He wanted to scream. He wanted to hit a wall and cry. But he did none of those things. Instead deciding to hold himself quiet.

"Well. We shall see you soon..."

That was no lie. For days he dreaded walking out of his house only two find he was being watched. Or walk home from school to find they were behind him.

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Blood rushed down my pale arm, painting it red, the color capturing my attention. It was captivating, mind numbing. The pain absolutely amazing, intoxicating. Something that I had gotten extremely addicted too.

I always loved pain, loved the way it made me feel, how it would leave marks on my body for the world to see. To see what happened. But never to this extreme. It was never where I had to result to causing it myself, but I'm glad I did.

It's been four months. Four months since I was rescued from the underground dungeon I was encased in for six months. Half a year I was bound, tortured, beaten, stolen of whatever innocence I had left in my body. Bruises everywhere, scars that seem they will never fade being made after the time that has passed by. But we're charges pressed? No. Jason had escaped before he could get fully caught, making me on edge.

Ever since I got out, I had shut down. Not let any tears leave me, vowed to never fall in love again. I didn't want to be weak and sob about what happened. My brother didn't even know what happened down there. It was not something I want to speak about, to share. It was the past. It was time to move on anyways.

The blood dripped onto the white tiles of the floor as memories flooded my head, making me go deeper into my skin, causing more burning sensation and endearing pain explode within me. Biting my lip, I continued.

Continued and continued.

~~

"Hey doll.. we can start with you on your knees."

Time had quickly flew by since that time. Cutting for pleasure had stopped, and I resulted to more.. vulgar ways to achieve that. Turning into the town's slut wasn't that hard to accomplish, after all, being someone like me attracted a lot of males who wanted a quick fuck.

My brother hated what I did, completely loathed it, but I did. And considering he worked on the road to pay for both of us living comfortably, or well me most of the time since he wasn't present half the time, he couldn't stop me.

"Of course, Master~"

They never went over a simple one night stand. And sometimes, other guys would even pay me for doing such a good job. It was a win win situation really. It was easy. It was simple. And it was something to keep stress and people off my mind.

After my appointment, which was what I called them, I went home to relax, and continued about my day. Ate something, drank a lot of water, went to dance practice, went to bed. My routine. See? Simple.

Nothing to worry about. No feelings, no attached strings, no drama. Just me and my flings with my occasional brother being home to make sure I was okay when appointments got a bit more rougher than usual.

Simple. Or so I thought.