Never Been Better [boyxboy]

I Want Wind To Blow

It might've been a dream that caused it. It might've been just a feeling. But on the 24th of October I woke up with a start, looked at the tree outside my window, and knew I could never leave the house again.

At 7:34am my mom walked in and asked why I hadn't gotten up yet, and I told her: "I'm never getting up again."

This wasn't new. I often woke up and screamed and cried about how I couldn't get out of bed, but this was different. My mom didn't know it was different. So she nodded once and said: "I'll inform the school", and she closed the door to my bedroom.

My room was small and warm and smelled like sweat and paper and coffee. I didn't open my window that day, just stared at the tree laughing at me. I wished I could turn into a leaf and disappear underneath someone's shoe with a satisfying sound. I wished I was the grass the cows ate so I could eventually contribute to the demise of the earth.

I closed the curtains. I turned on music. For an entire day I listened to the same song until I could hear nothing but the lyrics repeating in my head: There's no black or white / No change in the light / no night, no golden sun.

It was 6pm exactly when my phone lit up.

Noel (6:00pm): Everything alright man?

I didn't respond.