Class of 1978

Chapter 6: Cracked and Welded

When all of your flaws and all of my flaws

Are laid out one by one

A wonderful part of the mess that we made

We pick ourselves undone.

(Flaws- Bastille)

Sad eyes. Lips pressed together thinly. Frown lines appearing on the forehead. Oozing disappointment. All pointed at him.

And all he feels is shame.

ShameShameShameShameShameShame.

Looks down at his feet. Looks down at his hands. Looks down at his scars on his knuckles. No, no Hospital Wing for me, no easy healing for me. I deserve the pain.

"I trust you have realized the magnitude of the situation, Mr. Black."

TrustTrustTrustTrustTrustTrust.

No he shouldn't trust him. Remus trusted him, look what that did. No he clearly can't be trusted.

But he nods anyway. Nods at his hands. "Yes Professor. "

A sigh. Threads his fingers and rests his chin on them. His hands disappear under his great white beard.

"I believe that you have realized that you lay at fault."

FaultFaultFaultFaultFaultFault.

Of course it's his fault. Of course he realizes that. It's all his fault. If he hadn't done any of that shit, it wouldn't have happened.

"I have to punish you somehow, no matter how much I know you will punish yourself."

Nods at his hands again. Of course you have to punish me. Suspend me, hell just expel me. Do something.

"I think three months worth of detention shall be enough, don't you?"

His head jerked up. He looks at Professor Dumbledore's face for the first time in the past half an hour. That can't be it, that shouldn't be it.

Nods in confirmation. Sits up straight. Pulls a piece of parchment towards him. "You may leave now Sirius."

LeaveLeaveLeaveLeaveLeaveLeave?

Really that's it?

Nods numbly. Pushes his chair back. Staggers to the door.

Sirius's head is still a whirlwind as he walks back to the Gryffindor tower.

*****

Remus awoke with a jolt.

A surprised gasp escaping his parted lips, he sat up straight like a shot, the reel of images still replaying in his mind; Snape's face contorted in horror, James appearing out of nowhere and shoving him aside, James flat on the ground, but worst of all, James's back after he had slashed through it, four diagonal lines oozing blood. He could hear his friend scream in his head.

Remus looked at his hands, raised them to his eye level. They were quivering slightly on their own accord and he couldn't be bothered to stop them. All that mattered was the feeling of self disgust and horror that was brewing in his stomach. He could almost see the dirty yellow claws curving out of his palms rather than fingers.