COFFEE & CREAM

C21. Just A Small Bump

Beam POV

It was happy occasion with my dad's birthday party this evening. There are tables being set up...extravagant centerpieces being placed...flowers everywhere...even a firework display is being prepared near the pool area!

There's no doubt that it will be a grand occasion for sure.

I smiled as watch people prepare everything...how I wished I could share this happy occasion with my family for a last time...but my heart is breaking as I won't have the chance to do that.

Stop daydreaming Beam. You were never part of this family to begin with.

A felt like crying knowing that its indeed true. I'm just an outsider trying hard to fit myself in. The earlier I accept it the better for my heart.

Think positive Beam...it's all good! At least you are alive and well.

I slapped my face to get myself moving again. I wanted to cry but there are no more tears left.

My father...or should I say Mr. Landowski wanted me out of this house before the party started. I knew that there is nothing else that I can do. I tried begging countless of times trying to save the only identity that I have since I left the orphanage, but his options were not really favorable. So, like any desperate being I agreed on his conditions.

Immediately moved away from the window and finish packing the last of my belongings. However, I stopped the moment my bedroom door opened.

"Young master..." I looked up and I saw Ms. Mildred. She started tear up as she looked at my bags near my bed.

"Your father...I mean Mr. Landowski wanted me to give you this before you go..."
I stared for a minute at the box she handed me before I took it from her and stuffed it on my bag. What's the point looking at it again when I knew already what's inside. Seeing it again will only make me bleed even more.

"Tee..." She called my name like a whisper.

"It's Beam...I'm Beam Baramee apparently"
I smiled at her as I corrected her of my name.

"Beam?? I think it fits you perfectly, Beam..." She smile back at me as she walk towards the pile of clothes on my bed.

While she helped me pack she again spoke. "Never let these things lose your hope to live well Beam...everybody has every right to do so...Especially YOU... take this opportunity to look for place that would fit you perfectly..."

"What if I couldn't find one?" I asked her as tears slowly run down my cheeks.

"Then build your own...You are alive for a purpose...never think otherwise" She said as she wiped my tears away.

Her gesture is supposed to made me stop crying but her concerns made me openly pour my desperation as I hugged her tightly.

Deep inside no matter how much I hide. I am honestly scared. I'm trying to be strong but my worries are eating me inside. At the back of my head...I'm thinking where do I stay tonight? How to I get by? How to a fend for myself? Can I even find a work to support myself?

All of these questions is crushing back at me as I tighten my embrace...though at least for now I can just let go of all these things and just allow myself to be comforted by the warmth of our embrace. She has looked after my well being since I arrived in the mansion, regardless of the countless troubles I face she has tried to comfort me just like now...

But once I go out of these gates, there will be no Ms. Mildred to help me out. I am left with no one but myself.

But.....
I'll be just fine!