Gifted

Chapter 4: Charlie

After combing through a dozen false Charlie's (he was thankfully, not the prolific porn star Charles Swan) she found him. He was a police officer, a police chief in a town called Forks in Washington state. She had to do another search for the town, it was so small she'd never heard of it. Population 3,545.

She sighed again. She needed to stop getting ahead of herself. What was the next step? Just pick up the phone and call him? He could be remarried. He could-she couldn't bear to think it, but he could very well have a new family now. Even if he didn't, what could she possibly say that he'd even allow himself to hear? He'd probably hang up the second he realized who she was, if the last conversation they had was any indication. Still...it was so long ago.

Exactly, she thought angrily to herself. He probably moved on, assuming you were dead and gone. Should she really reopen his wounds, just for her own selfishness? Her heart and stomach recoiled. The pain, long kept at bay by her disciplined mind, started to creep past her defenses.

She slammed her fist down on the table. 'Control yourself!' She thought. She closed her eyes and concentrated on the steady rhythm of her breathing until she felt the sparks inside her disappear back into her body.

"That's the second time in one day you almost lost control," she murmured quietly. 'It's also the second time in one day I was able to stop myself,' she thought with a slight twinge of hope. 'That's never happened before.'

Once again, it was like her muscles disconnected themselves from her brain as they searched Charlie's name in an online phone book. There. He was listed. Right in front of her, she could see his address and phone number. And as much as part of her, a big part, warned her of the foolishness of what she was about to do, another long veiled part of her yearned for it. And she couldn't unlearn what she now knew. The way to her father was now stamped onto her brain the way everything since that night somehow stuck inside her mind. She would go mad if she had this information and did nothing. She had to at least try.

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Ring. Ring.

'Pick up. Don't pick up. Pick up. Don't-'

"Hello?"

Once again, it was like Bella had lost her voice. She was startled at her own terror the first time she had called him. His voice...it brought back memories she would have prefered stay submerged. It brought back a simpler, happier time and she had to struggle greatly to keep from losing her tight control.

"Goddamn it! I'm gonna trace this call you bastard and you better hope I do-"

"Dad," it came out a whisper, but it was out.

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. She swallowed hard. Please don't hang up. Please don't ha-

"Who is this?" He said, slowly enunciated each word.

Here goes nothing...

"Dad," Bella said, louder this time. "It's Bella."

She heard a deep breath. It could have been a gasp. And then silence again. She stopped herself from adding anything else. The ball was in his court. If he still hated her and never wanted to speak to her again...well he could hang up, and that would be that. She promised herself right there that if he did that, she would not try again. She would let him live in peace.

Wait. Just wait, she thought to herself. Wait for him!

"Bella..." It was his turn to whisper now. "Is this some kind of joke?"

"No!" I said quickly, working hard not to yell. "No. Dad it's me."

Silence again. She decided to take a risk.

"Do-do you want me to hang up? If that's what you want, I will...and I won't call again. I won't be upset, Dad. Really. Just, just say the word and I'll go."

"No," he said quickly. "You don't have to do that. Just give me a minute."

Exaltation nearly overtook her. There's a chance! There really is a chance! She took a deep breath, and waited.

It was probably just a few seconds but it felt like minutes to Bella. She imagined him standing...no, sitting on a couch. The phone was probably docked on a side table near him. She remembered him loving to watch sports...could he have been watching a game on TV when she called? Washington was a time zone away. It was Thursday night. What sport might it be? Despite her perfect memory she knew nothing about sports, except that most of them required a ball. Maybe she ought to read up on the subject.

"Bella," he started quietly. "Why are you calling?"

Bella's heart fell. She had no idea how to begin explaining. She knew what she wanted, but...Oh god, what had she done?

Slowly and with much hesitation, Bella started. "I uh, I missed you." Weak, she thought to herself. "It's been...so long, and to be honest...I'd like to come home." There it is.

Quickly she added, "I've been good. Nothing...nothing has happened in a very long time. I can control it now, and-" She felt her emotions coming apart as the weight of her exile bared down on her. "Dad I'll never forgive myself. I-I still don't understand what happened that night. I never meant...you know I'd never intend- Please, Dad. It's been seven years. I just want a chance at a normal life. Please. Please let me come home."

She hadn't planned on laying it all out there like that, but she couldn't take it back now. If he refused...after baring herself to him like this, if he still refused...she couldn't let herself think about it. There was no Plan B. She had nobody else in the world.

There was the sound of heavy breathing on the line. She couldn't tell if it was sadness or anger. Or hatred.

"I don't forgive you. I don't think I ever will," he said.

Bella tried, but she couldn't stop the tears this time. She breathed in and out, counting each breath in vain hope of shielding herself against her father's words. It didn't work.

"But I believe you, Bella. If you say you can control it now, I believe you."

She waited, the tears raining down her face freely now. They haven't done that in years...

"You can come home," he said.

She gasped. What did he say? It was her turn to be silent as she replayed his words in her mind. He didn't forgive her. He never would. He believed her. Home.

"Do you mean that?" She whispered.

"Yes, Bella." He said much more quietly. "I think it's what your mother would want."

She felt a fresh wave of pain, nearly suffocating her. It was like someone had kicked her in the gut. Her mother...hearing Charlie mention her mother completely obliterated the shield she had carefully built over the years. She squeezed her eyes shut, fighting a battle with the monster inside that nearly brought her down to her knees.

He must have heard her hushed sobbing. He must have. She took a deep breath, and steadied herself. Just another minute, she thought.

She quickly did the calculation in her head (thank god for my super brain, she thought).

"Thank you Dad," she said through her tears. "The trip will take me a while. Does 30 days from now give you enough time? I don't have any school records, but they can test me can't they?"

"Yes," he sighed. "I believe they can. I'll figure something out. Is there a number where I can reach you if I need to ask you something?"

"No," she said. "But I have an email address that I can check. Will that do?"

She had just seconds left.

"Very well," he said.

She spelled out her email for him, and hung up with a stiff goodbye. She dropped the receiver and bolted away from the phone. Running faster than she usually permitted herself, she grabbed her bag and sprinted down the stairs and out the storage room's window. She held on until she made it a few hundred feet into the forest. And then she finally released the dam that for so long had kept the monster inside.