Tainted Heart

Chapter 2

All the confidence I had when I was sitting in my office, flew out the window when I pulled up in front of Alex's apartment. I've been sitting in my car for the past thirty minutes trying to come up with what I should say to him. I want to know why he doesn't want to see me, or why I wasn't allowed to see him in jail, but what I really want do is kiss his stupid face. I want him to bring me into his arms and kiss me so passionately that I feel weak in the knees. I look into the mirror trying to pick up the courage to get out of the car. As I look closer at my appearance, my insecurities start to kick in. I think the only pretty features I have is my hazel eyes and dimples. My caramel skin has a few blemishes and scars, my nose is a bit big and wide, my lips always seem to be in a pout, my big curly hair is in a bun on top my head, and I'm still in my work clothes. I just want to leave and go to my apartment, but I know that if I don't go talk to him now, I'll never do it. So, I take one last look in the mirror and get out of the car.

Then I hurriedly get back into my car, because Alex walks out of his apartment with some of his friends. A car pulls up in front of them and they all get in the car. I don't know why, but I start to follow it. I try not to make it known that I'm following them, but I also don't want to lose them. The car stops in front of Alex's club, Rabbia. It means rage in Italian. It's a night club/ clubhouse for his friends, so they can have poker night or something. I wasn't ever allowed to go to any of the poker games, even though I'm great at poker, but Alex and I used to go to the night club sometimes. Though it's a night club they play bands and sometimes they have karaoke on some days. It's really more of nightclub on the weekends, but during the weekdays it like a really chill expensive bar. Today's Wednesday so it's not that busy.

Alex and his friend's walk in to the bar while I sit and contemplate if I should go in or not. I look down at my uniform with the Bella Farfalla logo on it. If Alex saw that he would know it's me immediately, and if I go home, I probably won't come back. I look around in my car for some spare clothes, and I almost give up until I see a plastic bag behind the passenger seat. It's a dress that Alice had left at my house after a night out. She had spilled her drink over it and begged me to get the stain out. Of course, with me being a big klutz and always getting stains on me I knew how to get the stain out immediately. I was going to give it back to her today, but I had forgot. I pulled the dress out of the bag and smiled. It was a red bodycon dress. Alice is less curvy than me, so the dress was going to fit tight, but it would work. I didn't have any shoes, but I was wearing flats and that would have to do. I got into the back seat and quickly changed my clothes. I took my hair out of my bun. My hair was big and curly and came down to my shoulders. I checked myself in the mirror and added a few coats of mascara to my eyes. I stuff a few 20's in my bra and hid my purse under the seat. I looked at the mirror one last time and hurriedly got of the car before I changed my mind.

I walked up to the bouncer that was outside and he let me in without a second glance. When I entered the club, I saw a people at the bar ordering drinks and friends sitting at tables laughing and drinking. I looked around for Alex and his friends, but I couldn't see them. I went up to the bar to order a drink and sat down. A man was singing on stage to an old country song, while his friends cheered him on. 

"Hey, what are you doing here?" I thought I had been caught, but it was only the bartender. I gave him a strange look and he laughed. "I'm sorry, I meant you're usually not here on weekdays, and you always come with your hot friend."

"Oh, it just me today. I thought I might come out for a drink, kind of a hard day today." I smiled sheepishly at him. He put his elbows on the bar and put his head in his hands.

"You wanna talk about it? Bartenders make great listeners." I look down at his name tag and it said Dante.

"Not really, Dante, but thanks. Could you get me a cosmopolitan, though?"

"Of course, and it's on the house. We can't have pretty girls having a bad day." He gave me a wink and walked away to make my drink. I slightly blushed and looked at the stage again. No one was up there and they were just playing some soft music. I look around again for Alex and look up and see him and his friends sitting up on the balcony. They're drinking and laughing. Alex is sitting there with a smile on his face, while his friends tells a story. I turn back around and look once more at the stage.

"Do you like to sing?" I jump up and look at Dante with my drink in his hand. He hands it to me and I take a drink before saying.

"Yeah, I haven't sang in front of a crowd in a while. I used to do it all the time in college, but I stopped when..." I stopped and thought back to when I stopped singing. I stopped singing after my parents died in a car crash. I just didn't want to sing if I wasn't going to be able to see them in the crowd cheering me on. "..... my parents died."

"Well, I doubt your parents would want you to stop singing. Why don't you go up there and sing something?"

"I'm not really in the mood to sing any happy songs."

"Then don't sing any happy songs. Sing how you feel. Maybe it will make you feel better." I looked at the stage again and sighed. I downed my drink in one gulp and nodded my head.

"Okay, but you better have another one these waiting for me when I finish." He laughed and nodded his head. I made my way to the stage, and gave the DJ my phone with song I wanted sing. I got on the stage and looked up at the balcony. The stage faces the balcony, so I can see everything up there. They are all still deep into their conversation and don't notice me. The instrumentals start playing and I look at Alex one more time until I give my attention to the song.

You are what you are

I don't matter to anyone

But Hollywood legends

Will never grow old

And all of what's hidden

Well, it will never grow cold

I look down at the ground the whole time while I sing the first verse, but once the chorus starts, I look up and see Alex staring at me. His mouth is open and he staring at me with wide eyes. I look directly into his eyes as I sing the chorus.

But I lost myself when I lost you

But I still got jazz

When I've got those blues

And I lost myself when I lost you

And I still get trashed, darling

When I hear your tunes

I sing the whole song while looking into his eyes and he just stares back. When the song ends, I look down and grab my phone from the DJ. I make my way to the bar and Dante is smiling big and slowly clapping.

"That was great! It was sad, but really good." He says while I take a seat. I look up at the balcony and Alex is nowhere to be found and his friends are staring at me. I look back at Dante and slightly smile.

"Thanks, and thanks for having this drink ready for me. I knew that after that I would need something to calm my nerves." I take a sip of my drink and notice my hands are shaking. I bring my hands down to my lap and curl them up into a fist to stop the shaking.

"Well, you look like a natural up there. You didn't seem nervous at all. You were extremely good up there...... I don't think I ever got your name." I open my mouth, but someone beats me to the punch.

"Nadya." His deep voice resonates and makes my back stiffen.