Don't Just Say It; You Should Sing My Name

Chapter 15: I'm Enjoying Every Minute With Myself

A few more hours passed, and the guys still wouldn't let me see Jez. I wanted to kill them for it! But they just kept telling me Mr. Purdy sees her first. So I couldn't wait until he got off work. Kind of... I was still scared of him. No matter how much he terrified me, I couldn't help but feel like the world was brighter  when I saw him walk in the waiting room doors. But seeing him in uniform still... That... That was bad for me. He still had his gun in the holster, even!

Then he came walking up to me, "I hear you stayed here since yesterday..." His voice was hard as a rock and stone cold, "Good on ya. One step in the right direction so you stay a free man, Mr. Fuentes."

"I-it wasn't an attempt to get on your good side, Sir... I actually wanted to stay..."

He nodded, almost in an understanding way, and went to Jezabelle's room to see her. This was starting to really torture me, not being able to see her. But thankfully, whenever Mr. Purdy came out, I would be able to go. I just... I had to see her...

I know it was only probably 15 minutes, but it seemed like an eternity for Jeza's dad to come out. And when he did, he was wiping his eyes, muttering, "My baby girl... My little girl..." And for the first time through this whole event, I actually felt completely sorry for someone other than me. His daughter was in there, barely surviving, with a baby... No man should have to go through that terror.

As soon as Mr. Purdy looked in my direction and Mike glared at me, I got up and went into the small white room. She was hooked up to a couple machines an an IV... She looked scary. Ghostly white... She looked so different from the girl I met 3 months ago. She looked sick and vulnerable, small and frail. Like the softest swish of a cloth could make her crumble away...

I walked over to Jeza's bedside and noticed all of the notes. One from Mike, Tony, Jaime, Serenity, and even one from her own father... I guessed I should write one too, but I didn't want to leave yet...

I wrote my note anyway, taking the pen from the clipboard at the foot of her bed, and when I was done with it, about 15 minutes later, I set it on top of he others, my fingers lingering on her stomach. Someone's baby was in there... And that baby deserved a father... I took Jezabelle's hand in my free hand and closed my eyes, whispering, "I'm so sorry, Jez... I'm sorry I caused this... I never meant for this to happen..." I didn't know what to say or how to say it. Especially not since she was out cold...

So I did the first thing I could think of. I fully rested my right hand on Jezabelle's stomach, holing her hand close to my chest, and sang.

Were you honest when you said,

"I could never leave your bed",

Wake me up and let me know you're alive.

And will you fall in love again?

Is the scent slowly spreading?

I've been answering machines all night.

And are the doctors dancing in

While the ambulances sing?

Another boy without a sharper knife...

The moment that's where I 

Kill the conversation, wrap this up 

With a knife that loves to feel.

How do you know how deep to go before it's real?

(Take me home!)

Can I even complicate your breathing?

I guess I'm just your average boy.

This is me with a knife in the back 

And a grip on the grass.

It's cold and I don't want to be here.

I guess I'm never comfortable or situational.

Are we losing or beginning

To try a new life without you?

The moment that's where I 

Kill the conversation, wrap this up 

With a lie that I'm enjoying every minute with myself .

And she could make hell feel just like home,

So I'm never leaving her alone.

But if your lightning lips aren't mine,

Then I don't know the awkward stranger to my right.

But she's crying. I only need one hand to drive

When you're with me, you are my getaway.

And don't you ever feel alone?

And don't you wish you were home?

Cut the lust tonight; all right, all right

Tell me why my little Mona Lisa told a lie, lie, lie, lie!

Do you want me?

Do you want to let me know that you're okay?

A diamond gold ring customized to cut your circulation.

But I couldn't let you go;

No, I'd never let you go my dear.

So keep talking 'cause I love to hear your voice.

(Love to hear your voice, love to hear your...)

Voice again!

I brought her hand to my lips, "I'm glad you're okay...  And I hope your baby is too. Just know I'm sorry about all of this..." I couldn't get the night of our meeting out of my head. She looked beautiful, and her green eyes pierced through anything they lingered on. A couple of tear fell down my cheeks. I couldn't take being in here anymore. I don't know how the others did it...

"I promise you, Jez..." I started off, eager to get away, "I will take the DNA test... Maybe it really is mine..." I kissed her forehead as I left, wiping my eyes.

"Hey," Mike tried to get my attention. I just gestured at him like he was a fly that was pestering me and walked out of the hospital. I leaned against the outside wall and slid to the ground, my eyes closed.

Maybe I was wrong all along...

Maybe it was all a lie on my part...

A lie to myself...