Starry Night

They were sleeping under the canopy of shiny stars, their hammock gently rocking with the sea breeze. With the soothing music of ocean waves crashing on the shore and with his Sanemsi sleeping in his arms, Can tried to remember the last time he felt this peaceful. Was it when she was sleeping next to him outside their tent in the jungle? He was so stressed that day, and so unhappy with how everything turned out. With his future in jeopardy and his reputation at stake, he had no idea where his life was taking him, and then she had come looking for him. He still couldn't believe she found him in that jungle. But that was the thing about her: you never knew what Sanem was capable of until she actually showed you. From the day he caught her trash-talking him to Cey Cey and Guliz, and when he found out from her scent that she was, in fact, the stranger he had kissed in that opera house, he was on an insane roller coaster with this girl. He couldn't believe that they had known each other for only a few weeks. In a matter of these last few weeks, she had managed to make him think about his outlook on everything. He chuckled to himself. "Oh Sanem, what am I going to do with you?" He started to fix loose locks of her hair, this new habit that has now become his favorite thing because it gave him an excuse to touch her.

She stirred in her sleep a little at that and Can immediately pulled her closer. Maybe she was feeling a little cold, he thought. He started to adjust the blanket around her and looked down to see if her feet were getting cold. They were tangled with his ankles. Her legs were folded around his legs, her hips were on his waist, her head rested on his chest. Her lips were slightly parted and she was holding his shirt in her hand and tucking it under her chin. He became very much aware of how she was wrapped all around him and suddenly his breathing became difficult. He couldn't help but marvel at the how their bodies, which were so different, fit perfectly with each other. She was all curves and softness that perfectly accommodated his edges and sharp corners. He wanted to absorb her inside him and get lost inside her.

"No, stop! Change course! Change course!" the sane part of his brain signaled as he scampered to alter the direction of where his thoughts were leading his body. "She is sleeping, you idiot!" He tried to rein in his wandering thoughts.

Earlier that day when she had walked out of the trailer wearing that 'costume' he had almost lost his mind. Thank Allah, he was sitting backward in that chair and could quickly adjust his 'excitement' else he would have humiliated himself in front of his entire crew! He was disappointed when she changed back into her regular clothes, but who was he kidding? Sanem could be walking around in a potato sack and could still make him hard with that one mischievous look of hers. She was just..baya, baya, baya güzel! Sometimes, he thought if Sanem knew about the things he had wanted to do with her she would actually run away for sure.

But then again, no! He knew she liked looking at him just as much. Inexperienced? yeah, sure she was, unaffected? Definitely not.

He remembered the way she was looking at him when she found him walking out the door after his boxing practice. That day, he had woken up at the pier thoroughly pissed off and frustrated because she had rejected him the night before and tried miserably to work off those frustrations. And then there she was, standing outside his home looking at him like he was a tall glass of a cold drink after a long, hot summer day in the desert. That one look on her face had pacified him in a way an hour of boxing couldn't. She couldn't even manage to stay away from him for an entire day. He smiled. All he needed to figure out was how to keep her from running away again.

The thought brought a sudden tightness in his chest. From the day he had met her, the constant feeling of loneliness that he had known since childhood had somewhat ebbed and in its place, a fierce longing he had managed to ignore for so long had taken root. Earlier tonight when she had asked him if he had a favorite star in the sky, he was almost going to tell her about the star he most identified with: Fomalhaut, that bright solitary star at the southern horizon. The one that showed up in the sky only around autumn indicating trees were about to turn into dry broomsticks. 'The loneliest star in the sky', as his fellow photographer buddy called it when Can found about it first a few years ago during his trip to Grand Canyon. He had tried hard to stay unattached to everyone and everything for so long. He had even managed to convince himself that he was overall his stupid abandonment issues but he remembered another expression his buddy whatshisface said, "Wherever you go, there you are."