He stretches his veiny arms, cracks his knuckles, opens up his Grubook, logs onto Dumblr, starting his daily routine. He begins to let his followers know about his scheme for ze day. If he goes more than 24 hours without an update, it would be safe for his 4200 followers to assume that he had died. Happens all the time in the villain community.
"Good evening, Gruins! Ze BEST thing happened today! I managed to steal ze tampons at ze Target today! One thousand more boxes and I can build a detachable bed for me eldest daughter that she can take bits from when needed.
...I'm lying. Today was actually pretty rough. My wife Lucy caught me on ze blog. She's filing for divorce, because I'm clearly a homosexual. We're definitely better off apart but I wish I could've come out myself and had a mature discussion. I'm crashing at my buddy's house for a few days while I find an apartment to steal, but sadly have lost custody of my adopted children. Lucy told them that I banged another dude's dong, but the most I've done is stared at one (my own). She is also shocked to find out that I am still a villain, since I told her that I had moved past that. Please do not message me as I need a break from ze onlines for ze week. If I do somehow die, my minion Bartholomew will inform ze interwebs (you guys!).
ttylxox
Gru"
With one hand tickling his dong and another on left click, he uploads his daily update in tears, tears of both fear and relief from letting it out. In the words of XXXTentacion, "Can't keep my d*** in my pants, aye // My bitch don't love me no more, aye".
He knew that all of this would soon be a part of a forgettable past.
YOU ARE READING
Gru x Vector (check out my sequel too owo)
FanfictionFrom brawling to banging, we watch the journey of an unexpected couple.
