Reject.

Chapter 28

I wake up around 2:45 in the afternoon. Sophia is home, and she gives me something to eat for breakfast.

"Tell me about last night." Sophia asks, leaning back into the cushions of her couch.

"I don't really remember." I say, and it's true. Last night was a blur.

"I waited outside the bar for two hours before going inside to get you." Sophia says. She sounds annoyed.

"Sorry."

"Why do you even do it? What's the point of being drunk?"

"I don't know."

"Whatever. It's fine."

"Stop it." I feel the heat bubbling in my chest, rising into my head.

"Stop what?" Sophia asks, looking at me with concern.

"Stop acting like everything is going to be okay!" I half yell, half sob.

"Michael, what are you talking about? I just wanted to know if you remembered anything about last night!"

"You know what, it's my life. My life, my decisions." I stand up, ready to leave.

"Michael!" Sophia cries, standing up.

Oh my god, I need to break up with her.

I can't. I couldn't ever.

It's my fault.

I'm tearing us apart.

"I liked it better when I almost died!" I scream, storming out of the door.

I sit on the porch and cry.

I hear the door slam. Sophia sits next to me on the steps.

"Michael, please don't do this again." She says.

"I don't know what to do, Soph. I want to leave, but I can't."

"Please," Sophia says, resting her head on my shoulder, "don't think about it. It's hard enough now."

"What's hard enough?" I ask.

"Living." She says flatly. "Living without you. It was so tough for me when you were on tour."

"I'm sorry." I say.

"No, you didn't do anything wrong." She says, looking up at the sky.

I force a laugh.

"Soph, if there's one thing wrong with this world, it's me."

"Shut up, Mikey."

"I'm serious. I'm a screw-up." I say, looking out in front of me.

"You're not. You're amazing, and a great person, and I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Soph, I obviously don't enjoy my life. I forget practically everything that happened before last week, everyone's always so interested in my life, and I'm just... I'm just..." I look away from Sophia.

"Mikey, no." She says. I know exactly what she's doing even without looking at her. Her bottom lip is puffed out and quivering and her eyes are filled with tears that waterfall down her cheeks.

I start crying too.

"Michael, please don't."

"Soph, I'm dying." I say through tears. "And nobody can help me."

"You aren't dying, you're just having a bad day, week, month, year, not a bad life."

"I'm depressed, Sophia." I run my hands through my hair. "Depression is a side effect of dying."

"Michael, please." Her voice is barely a whisper. "You're practically all I have left. You've been here for me since we were kids, and- life's a lot more trouble than it's worth."

I can't help it.

I know it'll make both of us feel better, at least for the moment.

I lean over and kiss Sophia gently on the cheek, and she rests her head on my shoulder. We just sit there, crying on her front porch, and staring out at the sky.