I couldn't sleep. I read somewhere that writing down your thoughts its proven to help you sleep and after watching a million weird youtube videos I've decided that this is the only thing I've got left, so lets do this.
1. I've decided to number my thoughts(Just incase you were wondering)
2. There is this really cute guy at my church who is most defiantly way too old and out of my league, but I still look at him and think, "What if i just walked up to him and said hi. Would the entire world really explode?" Then I just sit back down.
3. I want guys to know that I exist.
4. I want a boyfriend.(In the least desperate sounding way)
5. I need to stop watching adorably, lovable rom-coms or else I will literally explode because all they make me do is think about boys and how lonely I truly am.
6. I have a love-hate relationship with being alone. On one hand no one can judge me, except myself.
7. School and the people in it are the absolute worst.
8. I want to experience that so called "Teenage love". You know that stupid puppy dog, can't get your hands off each other kinda love. I want that. I want that really bad. Do I even deserve that?
9. I honestly scared that I will never experience Teenage love, and I hate that.
10. I'm scared that I'll never get asked to homecoming or prom. I know it's really stupid and i could care less about the stupid dance I just want to know that there's someone out there who likes me so much that they'll write something really stupid on a sloppily cut poster board and give me flowers and my favorite candy. Is it really so bad to want that?
11. I REALLY want a boyfriend.(as if I wasn't already desperate enough here's another cry of loneliness to the guys in the very back.)
12. (On a completely unrelated note) I'm scared that my dad will pick my half brother and my step mom over me.
13. I'm scared that I'm going to be alone forever.
14. When I get nervous I crack my knuckles.(I don't know why this really made the list, but it's a true fact about me.)
This didn't make me feel anymore tired then the other 1 million things I did in an attempt to make me tired so that great. Life sucks end of story. Goodnight.
YOU ARE READING
my story has no title.
RandomI don't know who I'm writing this for or even why I'm writing it. Sometimes I think it's just to get these feelings off my chest but other times I think it's to desperately scream out and pray to God someone hears me. But who really knows, right?
