Stumbling along the oak stairs my nan shot a bird using her leg a bench to lean on.walking towards the kitchen she ate a burger that had been left on the counter overnight since great british bake off was airing.she felt only sorrow that morning so she went to her kitchen cupboard to only find her beans have been stolen.
the hairs on her eyeballs stuck up on edge to the calling of adventure.she dashed to her heavy shotgun and her bag of mice (her snack bag).
she played played phil swift adverts to call on her mighty horse of apples to then fly of to the sunset on a quest to find the baked beans.
1 week later and she has ran out of mice to feed so she gave birth to her mum who is -20 years old to only use her a pinyata.the day went pretty well.
On the way they met god.
"Oi bruv I know who stole your baked beans,it was Dave...that asshole,"he shouted while appearing from the clouds.
"Thanks mate"said my Nan.
Thankfully She finally knew where she was going.
Lowering to earth with the shotgun ready and loaded she walked towards the door to follow with a 3 knocks.
Dave then pranced out of his chair to only the door to an annoyed Nan with an attuide to not to be reckoned with.
BANG went the shotgun.slowly she put her lips next to his ears to wispear "that's for my beans you pig"
The light slowly faded and his body began to feel like a weight.his eyes closed with a sudden drifting down his left cheeks and with his soft,dying voice he whispered "I can't go now I need to feed my 12 kids......"
With no mercy my Nan walted into Dave's property to find the can of beans on the counter.with such joy she jolted towards the can to only turn it over to find out it was out of date.
Oof that sucks.
My nan shortly went home to eat a chair and to continue the great British bake off.
Chapter 2 will come soon.
