Memories Of The Sun [Complete ]

Society.

I walked through the corridor, covered in blood, broken. Everything sucks. I could see no one in the house. My dad had probably gone to bed. Torah was also snoring somewhere maybe. I had no one, to help me. Evans had fled after assaulting me. When he was done he had claimed sorry...tears in his eyes... What for now?
“Baby I don't know what the hell happened to me... Am an idiot... please forgive me... What have I done? I love you... I just love you... Please!”

I felt dizzy... His voice was like a spinning wheel in my mind. I wanted to just die. I didn't know exactly where I was, it was a knockout. I never knew he would be that cruel, that selfish, that greedy! So, this is what they mean, that you never really get to know people, they are mysterious... They are different everyday... From a sweet heart to a raveger.

Headache floods me as I sink into a hot bath. The water is red and am pink. My body is covered in scratches. His nails dug into every corner of of me, as he debauched my femininity. My breath is slow as tears join the water. Why Evans, why?

Simeon has been calling nonstop. What do I tell him? I can't tell anyone. I have no one to talk to. I burry myself into bed. Sleep won't come. How can it? Am clouded with the memory of violence.

We are living in a rape friendly society, a rape conducive society if I may say. We are in the world that has shrouded sexual harassment in mystery, and shame. Women get assaulted everyday, yet they can't speak, because society dictates it's an embarrassment to speak up. While it's a minority of men that actually commit these crimes, it's the majority women's silence that makes it okay.

I am upset. I'm upset that I can't tell anyone. No one would really believe me if I said I was victimized by Evans, society denies. I'm upset that society is responsible for rape prevalences and the nightmares that reign over women... Every single day. Everyone would laugh at me, he was my friend. I would be a joke, yet it did happen.

I wake up in a feverish sweat with a racing pulse and a pounding heart. Torah is by my bedside with breakfast.
“Good morning ma'am”
“morning”
“I have brought your breakfast”
“put it down, thanks ” as she attempts to leave, she turns back.
“I don't mean to meddle, but I heard loud noises in the study last night.... Is everything okay.”

My eyes stay fixed on the floor. I don't want to look up. I want to cry.. What did you hear Torah? You heard him coerce me? Why didn't you come to help? She breaks the silence.
“I was coming to check... But Mr. Mats told me everything was under control... You were talking to your boyfriend... But I felt like... ”
“Everything is fine Torah... You may go.. Please”
“Oh,  okay.”

She probably heard it but my dad stopped her. Why Father? Everything was under control. I can't move...Is that control? It's probably what you wanted, Mr.Mats.. For him to pump sense in me?

As I take a bite of the cookie, Ashanti bumps in. Am not in the mood.
“Hey” what is she doing here?
“Hi…you should have knocked.”
“Oh, well,  am not used to knocking at my... Sorry I should have knocked.”
“What are you doing here?” She is quiet for a moment before she breaks... Am all ears.

“I love Evans…I know it's hard to believe but I... I fell for him... I know your getting married and all but am sure you don't want it. ”
“Ashanti what do you want?”
“Am here to offer you a deal!” What now? “You have this local man you love... Sim?”
“Simeon”
“Right. Simeon. I can help you get your Si-me-on... If you leave my Evans alone... To me.” What is this bitch taking about now.
“Get out!”
“Vanny, it works for both of us... Don't act like you love Evans.”

And I don't love him... What I feel for him is indescribable. Hate is not the word for it. It's more. It's more of disappearance. I want to see him dead, rotten, broken, suffering, starved, punished, in prison...
“Ashanti get out please... ”
“I know he was here yesterday... What did he say to you?”
 

Nothing, please get out.
“He is mine, doesn't matter what you do... Did you throw yourself to him? Vannessa? You think you can charm him with your... Your whatever... Look at me girlfriend... He left you for this... This right here... He whispers ‘I love yous’ every time he is eating this!”
“He raped me.” I cut her off. I don't know why, I hadn't planned on telling her. It just came out. I feel sick that she thinks of him as a god, he is a monster... A freaking rapist.

“What... Nooo... Your lying” I say nothing but get up.
“Do I look am lying to you?” I can't stand up straight
“I know he is crazy, but he can't be such a bastard…he doesn't coerce women... He can't do that.”
“Well, he did. ” I tear up.
She remains quiet.

I have been holding my tears in this morning but I can't anymore. I want to cry out so loud, I want to scream. Evans has ruined my life. It's not a nightmare... It's reality. You never wake up from that. I felt a cold blade pressed to my side, giving me no superiority... I couldn't fight him even when I tried. And now my best friend thinks am lying. Society!

Ashanti looks at me,  disbelief on her face... shaking her head in disgust . She gives me one last searching look and bangs her way out. You see, even my bestie doesn't believe me… No, she doesn't. Ashanti thinks am a liar.